It's Complicated

23.

Luhan shrugged. "He said he went out."

Yifan nodded and then tossed his phone on the coffee table in annoyance. "Make up with Sehun yet?"

Luhan sat in silence. "We didn't talk much yet. He's still sleeping."

"Oh."

Luhan felt a tinge of disappointment. For some weird reason, he kind of wanted Yifan to tell him to forgive Sehun. Maybe it was because it was Yifan, the one person he could trust with anything and everything. "That's it?" he mumbled.

"What do you want me to say then, Han?" Yifan turned his body so that he was facing Luhan. Luhan curled up into a ball and stared at the black screen of the TV, hugging the pillow to his chest. "Do you want me to say, 'Forgive him'? Is that what you want?"

Luhan let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. His hold around the throw pillow tightened. "I don't know. Maybe..."

"Really Han?" Yifan sounded a bit disappointed. Luhan shook his head and let out another breath.

"I don't know. I want to forgive him, I really do. I-I just thought that by having you say it...it would..." Luhan trailed off.

"You thought that by having me say it, you could have something to hide behind if you got hurt again." Luhan felt Yifan's hand on his leg. "I know you, Han. I've known you since we were children."

"Then you know why I act like this."

"No, I don't. I know the way you act, but I don't why you act that way. I know that you would jump in front of a moving train for Sehun, but I don't know why. Is it because you love him? You seem to hate him now, but you still would sacrifice yourself for him." There was a moment of silence. Luhan let the words sink into his skin. He confused himself too. Sometimes his actions were just instinctive. They just happened.

"Do you love him?"

Luhan opened his eyes at Yifan's words.

"I don't-"

"It's a yes or no question, Han."

"N..."

"Say it, Luhan."

"N...yes."

The dam broke and tears flowed.

~OoO~

Sehun felt the bed dip beside him and the blanket being lifted off his body.

"Luhan?" he asked, his voice a raspy whisper.

"Yea."

Luhan settled down next to Sehun's body. Sehun froze. He scooted over to give Luhan space but ended up being pulled back to the middle.

"I-I need go back to my hotel. I feel a lot better now." There was so much awkwardness surrounding them, and Sehun felt the need to leave. He could tell there was something wrong with the way Luhan was acting, but he just couldn't pinpoint what. Sehun lifted the blanket and put his feet back on the floor, but felt a hand tug on his shirt.

"Stay." Luhan's voice was a near-whisper and Sehun barely caught it.

"What?"

"Stay." Luhan tugged harder on Sehun's shirt and pulled him back to lie down. "Don't leave." Sehun felt Luhan's arms snake under his neck and across his chest to wrap around his body. "Please don't leave." Sehun was a stiff as a board. Luhan's awkward hug with him emanated another feeling. It wasn't pain, it wasn't hatred. It seemed desperate.

Sehun could feel Luhan's soft breath on his collarbone and he shivered despite the heat they shared. A few minutes later, when he was sure Luhan had fallen asleep, he began to untangle himself from the mess of limbs. He was wrong. Luhan's grip on his shirt tightened and Luhan's eyes opened.

"I told you to stay."

"I-I.."

"I'm giving you another chance. You're not taking it?"

Sehun was at a loss of words. "You're what?"

"I'm giving you one last chance. One more. That's it. If you screw this up, I'm leaving you for sure..."

Sehun stared at Luhan's figure in awe before smiling and lying back down on the bed beside Luhan. They became a tangle on limbs again as they kissed and hugged as if it were the last day on Earth.

"I love you," Sehun mumbled into Luhan's lips. He felt Luhan tense up beneath him and he pulled away, apologizing.

"No. It's fine." Luhan wrapped his arms around Sehun's neck and pulled him back down again. "I love you too."