Eyes Wide Shut

Chapter 3

Italics are flashbacks.

            I carefully sneak out from under the covers and out of the bed, cautious not to wake her. Slight rays of sunlight peeked through the blinds, providing enough light to find my clothes that were scattered on the floor. My half-naked body pranced around the room, gathering all my clothes together. A tiny, bright, white light illuminated the pocket of my jeans. I grabbed my pants from off the floor and grabbed the phone from out of the pocket to check the message. It was from Wayne.

            “Call me when you wake up.”

            Above that was a message he must have sent last night after I tossed my phone in the midst of the moment.

            “Didn’t hear from you. Hope you had a good show. Love you.”

            I slipped back into my jeans, then my top and slid the phone back into my pocket. I swiped my heels from off the floor and headed for the door. My head pounding with every step. I could still taste the liquor in the back of my throat.

            “Frankie?” she mumbled, still half asleep.

            Sh*t. I stopped in my tracks and turned to face her.

            “Yeah, babe?”

            “Were you just gunna leave without saying anything?”

            I didn’t know what to say. I was never quick on my feet, so I tried to quickly think of an excuse for leaving unwarranted.

            “I… I didn’t want to wake you.”

            She looked away from my gaze, obviously picking up on how uncomfortable I was. Her face showed disappointment, but also shame. There was a pause as she thought about what she was going to say.

            “I think we need to talk,” she finally said, perching herself up into an upright position on the bed.

            “About?” I asked as I sat on the side of the bed next to her legs.

            “Us, babe. This. You and me.”

            Her face and her voice were stern. She made it sound like we were a couple, but we both knew we weren’t. Why were we talking about this? Why couldn’t this just be like every other time? Simple. It happens. We forget about it. We carry on like nothing happened.

            “We have boyfriends, Frank. I have David and you have Wayne. We have commitments to them.”

            I saw what she was getting at, but my eyes began to tear up and I could not explain why. Something about her words stung.

            “I think we should stop this. It feels wrong,” she continued.

            And then a tear slowly peered out of my eye. She was right. So why did I feel like this?

            “Frankie…” She put her warm hand on my leg. “I love you, you know that. And we’ll still be best friends and do the same crazy things we always do… Except for this.”

            I took a pause, trying to gather my words, attempting to think of something to make this go away.

            “I’m just so glad you said it and I didn’t have to,” I replied. Lies. All of it was a lie.

            “Aw, good.” And she bent over to hug me. She pulled back and gently brushed the tear off of my face. “I’ll see you at sound check.”

            I nodded and proceeded to walk out of the door. More tears flowed down my cheeks. A sudden emptiness washed over me.

            ***

            The girls had fallen silent after I went to bed. It was clear they did not really know how to handle me ever since I returned from the hospital. It was hard for them and I understood that.

            “I’ll go check on her,” I heard Rochelle whisper.

            “No, let me,” Mollie stated.

            I heard footsteps walking my direction; the steps louder and louder as she got closer. They stopped outside the curtain of my bunk.

            “Frank? Can I come in?”

            She didn’t even need an answer because five seconds later she was cuddled up against me, her arms wrapped around my waist. She slid me against her so that our hips connected. We didn’t need any words - she knew exactly how to make it better. The comfort of her touch calmed the storm in my mind. My thoughts slowed from a sprint to a walk. Why was she here? She was the one who called it off, so why did we carry on like this? I didn’t care. All I could think about was how I loved her being here with me. How much I loved that she knew exactly what to do. How much I loved her.