I guess it's okay to say that I'm confused. Confused because I don't want to have you back in my life but I can't help myself. Holding grudges is the one thing I hate to do. But I don't want you to take advantage of me. To throw me around and chew out pieces of me like a dog's chew toy.
I guess it's okay to say that I've moved on. I no longer love you. I think I loved the idea of you more than you, yourself. This morning you said hi to me and I said hi back. This is progress. Last time I saw you, we walked past each other, faces looking forward, pretending like we never knew each other. I kind of just want to go back to pretending. You wanted to be close again and I accepted like nothing ever happened. I don't know why I did what I did because talking to you is just going to make me feel again. Feel all the feelings I felt for you. And I see you with her, the girl with the long dark hair and the happiest smile when she's with you. I don't want to become involved in your personal life and screw up what you have with her, because I already screwed up what we had.
I guess it's okay to say that I don't love you anymore, but when you passed by me this afternoon with her I felt a pang of jealousy, but I let it go. Before, I couldn't ever let go what I felt for you because I was trapped in a whirlpool of feelings for you. Now, i'm free and I know if I ever start to feel something for you i'll just think back to all the things you did to me. That'll make all my emotions stop. Anyways, I already have someone I have my eyes on and don't worry, it's not you.
