Invisible.

Chapter One

I lay awake in bed at one am, once again I can't sleep. How much more can I take of this? I ask myself for the millionth time. I'm done. "I'm done with this pain." I finally say to the emptiness of my bedroom.

I walk to my brothers room and sit down. I start to write a note on a piece of paper I found on his floor. I hope he didn't need this...

Bubba, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad,don't miss me, don't cry. I'm not worth it. I love you big brother, always remember that. Thank you for putting up with me. Goodbye. -Deseray

I put the note on his nightstand and got up, slowly walking away. I go to the bathroom and grab the painkillers, then to the kitchen to grab a knife. I go back into my room, close my door, and look at myself in the mirror.

I aim the knife about an inch above my belly button. "I'm sorry." I say as I jab the knife into myself. It takes everything into not to scream, but I stay quiet. I grab the painkillers and start to take them. Slowly swallowing them, one by one until there is no more in the bottle.

Five minutes, ten, twenty, an hour goes by and I'm still bleeding, but I don't feel any pain, but the lightheadedness tells me that I'm bleeding out. A black rim goes around my vision and I soon pass out. I can hear my breathing start to become ragged, then it just stops. No sound but the slow beating of my heart. After what feels like an eternity later my heart stops, and I go numb.

I've done it. The pain is gone.

_________________________

I wake up, but at the same time I don't. I look down and I see myself. Covered in blood with tear stains on my face. I hear a scream coming from my brothers room and footsteps coming towards my room.

"No," Luke, my brother cried. "no, no,no. She's not.... oh my god!" I see him grab his phone and call someone.

"Hello, Emergency line, what is your problem?" I hear the voice on the phone say. (I'm from The U.S. But this takes place in Australia. I don't know what the emergency services are. Sorry.)

"Yeah, um my sister just... my sister just committed suicide."

"I'm so sorry, help is on the way. what is your location?"

He tells her the information and soon enough I can hear the sirens off in the distance. He walks out of the room and I hear another cry.

"NOO! MY BABY!" I hear my mom cry.

My mom comes rushing in and collapses by my body.

"Mom, I'm here. It's okay." I try to say, but they can't hear me. I walk over to them and try to hug them. I can't feel them, they still don't notice me. They can't hear me, they can't feel me, they can't see me. I'm actually dead. What was Ashton going to do? Or Michael, Calum? I don't know what to do now. I thought this would just end my pain, but it just made it worse.

"I'm going to call Ashton" Luke finally says. He walks out of the room. I follow him to the living room as he sighs and dials Ashton's number.

"Hello?" I hear Ashton say.

"Hey Ash," Luke's voice cracks.

"Luke? What's wrong? Wait... why are you using Des' phone?!?"

"Ashton....... Des," he starts to cry. "Des is dead. She committed suicide."

"No.... NO!" I hear sobbing from the other end of the line. "I'll be right over."

"Okay." Luke ends the call and falls to the floor. He's sobbing, and it's all my fault. I can't take this anymore. I close my eyes and think of Michael. I haven't seen him in a while.

_________________________

I open my eyes and I notice I'm no longer at home. I'm in Michael's room. What the hell? I look over and see that Michael is still asleep. That is, until his phone rings. I see a picture of me and my contact name shows up on his screen. Oh no, Luke is about to tell him....

"Hello? Des? Why are you calling me?"

"Hey Mike, it's Luke."

"Oh, hey. Why are you calling from Des' phone?"

"She's dead Michael. She killed herself." Luke's voice sounded flat. Tired.

Michael's face goes from sleepy to wide awake to sad.

"What? No, are you sure you didn't just have that dream again?" Luke had a dream about this?

"I'm sure Mike,"

"I'll be over in a few. Did you tell Ash...."

"Yeah, he's here right now. So is Calum. You like sleeping so I figured I would wait to tell you."

"Okay, see you soon."

The call ends and Michael gets up and paces around his room.

"Fuck! Why Did?!? I loved you...." he sits back down and puts his head in his hands and starts to cry. He loved me?

_________________________

I close my eyes again and think of home, where my body is.

"Why did she do it? Why did she leave me? I loved her....." Ashton sobbed into Calum's shoulder.

"I know mate, I know. you weren't the only one." I wondered what everyone was thinking. At that moment, there were words above everyone's heads. Is that what they're thinking? That's so cool, but sad.

"I loved her too Ash, I'm sorry for not telling you. I know Michael loved her too. it was always going to be a fight for her. The three of us were in love with her, but only one could have her, but now no one can." Calum thought.

All three of them were in love with me? What the fuck? I decide not to think about that anymore than I need to.

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HEY GUYS!! I'm bringing this back!!! I decided to do this differently though. New title, new storyline. I really hope you guys enjoy this fanfic. Just a heads up, I'm making this up as I go along so feel free to add suggestions by commenting!! Also make sure you vote for this story if you like it.Love you guys,

-xoxo, Ashley the penguin