A Game Of FIFA

JJ and the Bagel Fangirl

I went to investigate the crowd forming near the gate of Thorpe Park. It had to be a YouTuber, because there were no paparazzi near them. I honestly wonder how these kind of people can go into public to just chill without a tsunami of fans mobbing them whenever they go into public. I mean, shops and stuff are okay, but open places like Thorpe Park? Nah, that's 2004 Indian Ocean all over again. I got a glimpse of JJ in a BEAST tee and tracks and a Sidemen XIX snapback on his head. I immediately remembered the lyrics of his song 'Lamborghini' and stated rapping it out loudly.

"I be at home on the Xbox

Lord of the mics in the background, slewing MCs with dreadlocks

Snap that party, told this girl come round

Chick's long tempered but her head tops

She goes hard till my head drops

It's all eyes when we connect

Sounds like a playboy bunny from downstairs, upstairs sound like a pet shop."

"Yo take a breath man, you're going to make Eminem cry!" Several people shouted, including JJ.

JJ yelled, "Bro, take a breath, so I can go La-Lamborghini, La-Lamborghini

Yo, I know you see me in my Lamborghini!"

Everyone started laughing and JJ motioned for me to come over for a selfie. He stuck his hand out and said, "Yo, I'm JJ, but you know that. What's your name?"

"Yo, I'm Jon." I extended my hand and at the last second pulled it away and swiped it over my hair. "Bro, you got juked." We took a selfie and he captioned it, 'Met the coolest fan in Thorpe park today! Raps better than @p_money! #lamborghini'

"Yo, man, see ya at Insomnia!" JJ yelled after me.

I left that area, nearly squealing like a helium-stoned pig. Now that is an image we do not want to see. I just met JJ! OMG, I just met JJ! The real KSI! Well, this day turned out moderately well. I went on some more rides. Please don't ask me about it. I grabbed a quick omelette and coffee at a nearby restaurant-or I would have, if the restaurant sold breakfast food at 1:00. Wow. I guess I had no choice but to go to the hotel since their breakfast food is good for two reasons: It's available 24/7 and it kicks butt.

I drove back in my newly rented gray Toyota Corolla and went back to my room in the Roylott. I crashed on the bed and had half my stock of Orbit. The reason was :

a) I'm a gumaholic.

b) One of the rides did so many loop-the-loops I nearly threw up. Hell, I think someone actually did throw up somewhere near the back. I pity the cleaners.

That was why I didn't want to talk about it before.

I grabbed an omelette and a cup of coffee from the café and ate while scrolling through my cluttered as hell Twitter feed and saw that Simon had asked for questions to answer.

I hit reply, typing in my question and hitting the enter button. I chuckled to myself at what I had written and continued scrolling through Twitter. I had nearly finished my omelette and my coffee cup was bone dry. I took a bag of bagels as take away and threw on an Eminem hoodie with ripped black jeans. I wore my Rees and headed out the door.

Then, of course, I turned right back again to get my phone.

I looked around for my Samsung Galaxy E5 and I couldn't find it anywhere.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath as I kept looking for my phone. I looked everywhere. I even looked in the toilet bowl. That's how desperate I was. I. Looked. In. The. Fricking. Toilet.