Voice

Voice Chapter One

Voice  

Chapter One 

By Rajia (theEmeraldGypsy) 

I sat all alone on a swing in a childless playground as I bowed my head with tears streaming down on my face. The doctors told me that I only have three months left to live because I have a heart disease and it could only be treated through heart transplant.  

"Satya?" A warm, familiar masculine voice approached me. "Why are you crying?" I looked up and saw my favorite cousin, Louis, standing near the swings. Oh yes, he texted me a while ago if I am free to meet-up with him here in this playground. We have a five-year age gap. He's 22 while I'm 17. He opened his mouth to speak, "Why are you crying?"  

I shook my head as I wiped away my tears with my left arm. I noticed the Nikon D3200 in his hands and strapped around his neck. Louis loves photography and treats his camera as if it was his precious infant. Because of him, I also fell in love with photography. We'd hang out in his condo unit because he has a mini-studio there and I pose as his model which I truly enjoy. He'd sometimes let me touch his camera and take pictures of him. We'd sometimes go to random trips and take pictures we feel like worth taking.  

"I heard from Aunt Annette regarding what the doctor said regarding your condition. Don't worry, we'll find a donor for you as soon as possible. But as for now..." He gave a reassuring smile and took off his camera from his neck. He placed on my lap as he said, "Here. My baby is now yours, my dear cousin, take good care of it, alright?"

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped in shock. Am I dreaming? Did I hear that right? Louis is giving me his precious camera? I really couldn't imagine it! I mean, Louis is really vain regarding his baby! He cleans it almost every day and gets really cross if someone dared to touch it. Never put your fingertip on any part of his camera or else you'll get a bunch of scolding. I gave him and the camera a puzzled glance.  

He just laughed at him, ruffling my hair, "Just in case you're wondering, I'm pretty serious about it. I'm going to be philosophical or something like that but please use this camera as your voice. " 

Voice. One thing I'd never ever obtain. I have been voiceless ever since I was born. I grew up envying other kids who could speak, shout and sing. I could only communicate through sign language and lip reading. I only have a few friends and my classmates tend to bully me because of my disability. I'd sometimes blame the Heavens for this condition. Why can't I have a voice like a normal person? I'd gladly give up everything I have so I could speak.  

I signed, "How do I do that?" I know Louis could perfectly understand sign language. Ever since we were kids, he's the one who has been patient to learn sign language so he could communicate with me.  

"It's up to you, Satya," He sat on the swing beside me. "After all, you have a bright future ahead of you and I am sure you will not die. You will be cured from this dreadful disease. Promise me that once you obtained your heart, live the life you always wanted it to be. Don't let any hindrances stop you from reaching the stars. You may be voiceless, a mute but one day, the world will hear your voice and your voice will be the most beautiful tune of all. Don't forget about me, alright?" 

I nodded in silence. I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. I stared at him intently as the gentle breeze caressed his dark locks. Since then, we hanged out more often for three weeks until one day; Mom told me that they already have found a heart donor. I was simply delighted and I even texted my cousin about it. I suddenly began to wonder why he didn't reply and he didn't visit our house today.  

He still hasn't replied yet even on the day of my operation. The doctor made me drink some meds so that my body won't reject the new heart. Fear, anticipation, anxiety, sadness, happiness and other emotions stirred up inside me. I was laid down on a stretcher and everything went dark when the anesthesia was struck into my system.  

The operation was a success. I was finally cured from my disease but I still have to drink some medicines so that I won't have any complications with the new heart. Then suddenly three days after my operation, Aunt Melissa called me via our landline.  

"Satya, darling?" I could clearly hear that she was crying really hard and I wonder why did she call me all of a sudden. I know that Aunt Melissa isn't the type to show her weakness. She is always smiling and a cheerful person. She is also Louis' mother and he looks a lot like her. "Please come to our house. I have bad news, my child. Louis has left us! A stupid driver took his life and didn't have a conscience and just left him lying on the road!"  

I gasped as tears fell. Did I hear that right? Louis is dead? No, no, no! This is just a joke! This is just a dream! I know I will wake up. My family went over to Aunt Melissa's and I prayed to God that the news isn't true. When we got there, reality gave me a hard slap. I shivered as I walked towards the white casket with golden linings. It wasn't a dream. I felt the world was crashing around me as I glanced what's inside the casket. It was Louis, with his eyes closes and he wore a black tuxedo with a black tie. He looked so noble, formal and so far from the Louis I usually fool around with.  

I broke down as I fell on my knees, with my arms and hands leaning on the casket. I didn't mind whether the whole clan could see me crying. My mouth opened as if I was shouting. Louis, why did you have to leave me alone? God, why did you have to take away someone so precious to me? Is this price I have paid for to have a new heart? If so, take me away and bring him back instead!

"Satya..."Mom said as she and Dad moved me away from the casket.  

Today was his funeral and every member in the family gave him one last look. I didn't even get to write a eulogy for him. Lilian, one of my cousins, told me that Louis got involved into an accident before the day of my operation and they all kept his death a secret to me until now because they don't want me to have complications right after the surgery. When he was already buried, I was left all alone crying by his grave.  

"Louis, you scumbag! Why did you leave me alone? Why didn't you wait for me to go first? I should have been the one to die, not you! Who will be the one I can tag along in random shoots? Who'll be the one to treat my five scoops of ice cream? Who'll be the one who'll call his camera 'baby'?" I signed furiously. I didn't care whether I get weird looks in the cemetery. This is a critical moment for me. Louis' departure is too sudden for me to bear.

After one week, I brought the camera he gave me, went over to his condo unit and took out the duplicate key he gave me. I walked to his mini-studio and I looked around. It's all empty and lifeless without him. It gave me a pang of sadness as I walked by the lights, by the proud white backdrop standing by and the luggage that contained different lenses. I noticed that there was a neon green sticky note on the luggage.  

It said, "Everything in this studio is all for Satya. I know she'll turn into a great photographer one day. --Louis" 

I sat down on the wooden floor and began letting out quiet sobs. Louis had given me a lot of things and now, it feels like he's leaving his legacy to me. I don't know if I could be good as him. Wipe off your tears now, Satya, you have to be strong for the sakes of yourself and everyone. I may be voiceless but that doesn't mean I am less than anyone else. I can make myself shine bright and with God's grace; I will do whatever it takes for me to reach all my heart's desires.