Alone

Freedom

Oh. my. gosh. I knew it was wrong so why did I do it? Those things I said, decisions I made to do that. My life is over. My friends have left, my family has abandoned me, I live in this world that I wish I never made for myself. Police lurk around my foster home and ask me who I am. I never answer them because I have lost myself. I lost the person I used to be. 

Over the year, I have created an image of myself. I always act as though nothing bothers me and I can't be pissed off. This image got me into the popular clique. You know em, the girls who look like plastic dolls because they wear the hottest and newest clothing styles, the most expensive makeup, the knee-high boots with shorts that half-covered their ass, and their long, Lucious Bleach blond hair. Then there's me, well the old me. I wore ripped jeans (wasn't a trend back then) and a long, oversized t-shirt and my hair tied up in a messy bun every single day. I wasn't what you call attractive and yet they still let me join their group and I never knew why until later that year. 

My real parents were never there for me. They left me on the sidewalk when I was a baby at night and never have tried to contact me to this day. This woman Janel saw me laying in my basket wrapped up in a blanket all alone and ran over to me. I don't personally remember how she did, but she convinced the Justice system that I was an orphan and my parents had died in a terrible accident in the Bermuda Triangle and that is why there is no contact information for them. At first, the court did not believe her and they wanted to put me in the Foster Care system and Janel got really creative with her statement. She added that they made a will that left me to Janel and all of their savings for me and themselves along with their house. Then she forged a will and they agreed and I was allowed to live with her until I was an adult. Well, that was the plan anyway. 

Janel was so amazing to me and I thought she was my real mother. She would have tea party's with me and play dress up and all of this stuff that I loved when I was a little kid. When I was about 4 years old, she said she had to take care of something but didn't tell me what it was. The look on her face would have made someone think that someone had just told you that you are dying. She kissed my forehead goodbye and whispered "I have always loved you sweetie" and rushed out of the door. That was the worst few hours of my life wondering if I would ever see her again. Turns out, I never would. 

A few hours later, there was a knock at the front door. Not one that I recognized before so I didn't answer the door. They waited for a while and then I heard them get out keys. No one else had keys other Janel (that I knew of) so I ran downstairs ready to see Janel but instead I saw a man standing straight up in a Navy uniform and a woman dressed in a tight and short black dress with black belts and heels on. They didn't see me because I hid in the closet behind the broom, where I always hid when Janel and I played peek-a-boo. Then I saw the man slam the lady against the wall and start to kiss her. More aggressively than Janel did me. The man started to undress her. I wanted to turn away from the scene, but there was no room. The lady ran up the stairs and told the man to get her. I got it, they were playing a game of tag. I wanted to join in, but they had already raced up the stairs. I tried to go after them but I tripped over the broom and it made a loud crash. Then I heard the woman scream "What the hell?" and fell backwards down the stairs. I looked past the living room table which I was hiding behind and saw her motionless body laying in a pool of blood. Did that man push her down the stairs? Who was he? I was determined to find out.