Written words

In the Back Row

But the little conversations are nice. I think we might become friends. It's been awhile since I have had a friend.

"Hello Beth. How has your day been?" He asks as he sits down in the seat to my right. I look over at him quickly before looking at the ground once more.

"It has been okay. What about you, Chris?" I ask quietly.

"I have had the most excellent day. I finally got enough sense knocked into me to ask Alyssa out," he brags. I force a tiny smile. That hurt. It shouldn't have but somehow it did, just a little bit. I don't know why. We aren't even really friends.

"That's nice," I mumble. He nods in agreement.

"Yes it is indeed," he replies. I look at the math problems in front of me and begin to complete them. I try to block out Chris's rambling about Alyssa and just focus on my work, but I can't. It is becoming irritating. I clench my jaw and my nails start digging into the palm of my hand.

"Would you just shut it?"I ask rather rudely. He is eyes widen and he is shocked by my outburst. Almost as shocked as I am, almost. I stand up abruptly and storm out the door of the class. Shouting out some excuse about going to the restroom.

I had lost control. For the first time after the incident, I had lost control.

***

Six months later Alyssa and Chris broke up. They had a big fight or whatever and Alyssa walked out saying she was done. Chris kept quiet for a good week after that. I missed the conversations we used to have. And I started to hate Alyssa for making him not talk to me. She did this. It was her fault. I don't know her but I know it's her fault. She told him not to talk to me and so he isn't. My friend isn't talking to me because of Alyssa. I want to make her pay. She is a mean, little, spoiled brat and I hate her guts. She will fix this, I will make her fix this today.

I clench my jaw and my hands form fists. My nails dig into my skin and I search the room for a weapon of some sort. So she won't be able to say no. The only thing I am able to find is a pair of scissors. I stand up and grab them from Mr. Thomas's desk. I don't listen to him as he calls out for me to come back with the scissors. I need my friend back and Alyssa took him from me. It isn't nice to steal.

I storm through the hallways looking in all the classrooms. But I don't know what she looks like. I can't find her. I start running through the hallways, I have to find her because she stopped my conversations with Chris. And to get him to talk, I need her to make him stop not being my friend.

But I can't find her! No this isn't right I need to find her. I have to find her. I have to! I can't not find her! That would mean not having my friend. So I sit down on the floor next to the lockers and begin to cry. I need to do this. I have to fix it all! I have to!

"Beth?" asks a voice.

"Leave me alone! I have to find her!" I shout.

"Beth who are you talking about?" Asks the same voice.

"I don't know her. I can't find her because I don't know her. But I need to find her because she messed it all up," I say.

"Beth who do you need to find?" repeats the voice. I look up and glare at the person. Then I gasp and a big smile spread across my face.