If Ever

Part 1

I was breathing hard, sweat ticking of my face, exhausted and at the same anxious and furious as I run on the hallway of the hospital.

Anxious, because I was worried sick about my dad. Yeah, we used to have arguments from time to time, but still he’s my dad. After all I came from his flesh and blood.

He’s also my only family. My mom died due to a car accident and don’t have any sibling/s. Furious because he wouldn’t listen to me when I told him to stay at home, rest and not to worry about work.

Last year, he was diagnosed with a terminal cancer. He attended medical treatment, but later stopped because he said he’s too old and that he had reached his goals. Even though his company already reached in the top, he never stopped working. Leaving behind his company was never thought. It even made him hospitalized because of his hard-headedness and love for his company.  

I always never liked hospitals. It’s the last time I saw my mom bathed with her own blood, wounded and lifeless.

His secretary Ms. Dalac had called me earlier this afternoon that my dad had collapsed in his office. As I run along the hallway, nurses are busy, running here, there, doctors are shouting, ordering everyone they see to assist them. Someone must have been shot or maybe was involve in an accident. Someone might have been attacked or worst maybe even in the tip of dying. Well, why bother? It doesn’t even concern me.

I slow my pace down as I got nearer my dad’s room. I knocked, opened the door and invite myself in. I looked for dad, but he’s nowhere to be found. Instead, I found Atty. Cocoy greeted me with a pale, depressed, and aggrieved face. He’s sitting beside the bed, unable to stare. He seems like in pain.  I don’t understand, my dad was nowhere in sight, Atty. Cocoy look so miserable, wasted and hurt and someone was on the bed, draped.

I looked at Atty. Cocoy and asked him, “Where’s my dad, Angcoy?”

Ever since I was a kid I called him Angcoy, short for Uncle Cocoy. He was my dad’s bestfriend ever since they were in pre-school. I looked at him, waiting for a response but he remained silent. The silence was deafening. I was worried about my dad and Angcoy wouldn’t answer my question, he wouldn’t even look at me.

Frustrated, I asked him again, “Where is my dad, Angcoy? Am I in the wrong room? Is he one of your clients?”

 Still the silenced continued. I can’t help myself and shout at him, “Damn it, Angcoy! Where is he? Why wouldn’t you answer me? I’ll ask you again Angcoy, where is dad?”

This time he just flinched and looked at the bed. Then it came down to me like a rain fallen from the sky that my dad, he’s gone…forever