TIME

When all comes, time goes...

Twinkling music echoed in the distance, like chimes against each other in the morning breeze as I opened my eyes to the sullen world, yet again. Maybe it was my imagination? I wouldn't know; because I didn't seem to find a music player at proximity. One minute, that twinkling shiver and the next, I had hit a wall of silence; almost as though my wits were playing games with me. Suddenly, a cold rigid wave had washed over me as I cringed at the soap smelling surroundings and felt a stinging pain on my right arm; a skeletal length of a metal pierced deep into the depths of my vein sending sparks through my system and that's when it dawned upon me: I had been drip-feeding for days, hours and almost months now incessantly. And surprisingly, none of this was new to me.

Gazing at an infinite point in the distant from the window that overlooked my resting place, I pierced straight into the heart of the city where I had been located. Footsteps briskly moving, chatters and rustles in the busy city seemed to move in complete synchronization and seemed to be satisfying just as it was to the naked eye all under the name uniformity; something my life wasn't.

The customized city kept moving on every day new changes coming on leaving the past like a memory in the breeze. Everything seemed familiar yet different and all the while, I had laid there like a motionless being waiting to surrender to rage of the different remedies that came my way. That being said, it was the night of July 29th when I found the letter on the side top; the night I found out who I was, what was happening to me and what was coming next; the night, that changed the little that was left of my life to better. It was from my strength, my sturdy pillar and the only one who kept me going then, my son:

"Dad,

Death is always a surprise. No one expects it. We are never ready. It is never the right time. By the time it comes, you will not have done all the things that we wanted to do together. The end always comes as a surprise, and it's a tearful moment for everyone, but I know it will be a devastating one for me.

You might be clueless right now dad, and it is not in my place to tell you this but before I let you know what this is, I want you to know; it is okay to be sad, but don't be afraid.

Dad, you have terminal cancer.

And before you go, I want you to know, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, that I never cared when you told me right from wrong. I'm sorry, that I threw tantrums at you when you meant good. I'm sorry, for embarrassing you in front of my friends. I'm sorry, for feeling ashamed to call you my father outside. I'm sorry, for punching you with my mistakes. I am sorry, for hardening your heart with fights instead of softening it with hugs. I am sorry, for instead of repentance, I chose revenge; instead of remorse, I chose retaliation; and instead of regret, I chose rage. I am sorry, for waging war when you meant truce. I am sorry, for taking your kindness for your weakness, silence for your nonchalance and patience for vulnerability.

I never meant to tarnish the beautiful colors you added in the hues of my life and for that, I'm sorry.

I look back at my life and I can't believe I disrespected the man who gave up his own life to provide for mine. I think about the near past and I can't believe I ignored the man who ignored the whole world to give attention to me. And now, all of this seems unreal. I have wasted the memories I could have made with you and now there's almost none left. There hasn't been a day I haven't regretted since I found out and once you're gone, I know that I can never forgive myself.

But I think about the future and I can see myself doing everything it takes to make up for all the lost years with you, the lost time; time that'll never return and for a fact dad, I know you'll be proud.

It's foolish of me to write to you when you're alive, and I'm ashamed that I won't be near your deathbed when all falls into place; when time, falls into place. But I wanted you to find out this way and I'm glad knowing that this, is how you did.

Be strong, Dad.

Adam."

That night, for the first time since I was hospitalized for no complete reason in accordance to me, tears rolled down my cheeks as I wept like a child; not because I had had the merciless disease but because what I had been dreading, the fate of my son, had come to an end. I was glad, glad that he had understood; glad that he would have a good life, glad that I had raised him right. Later on, I had placed the letter on my chest and lay back knowing that my duties were done; I had made my mark on earth; my son; and knowing, my time had come.

Two days later I had died from terminal brain cancer but that was indifferent to me. The ones that stood by me throughout wept in disbelief as I retreated to my haven but my son; smiling, knowing that I had heard him out was content and accepted my fate heartily.

I have been watching him ever since and I sense the deep regret in his eyes for all that he let go with me but it hadn't occurred to me until now as I sat on this heavenly retreat realizing how he, had waited for me, but the unforgiving wrath of TIME, didn't.