Sparks Fly {the flash}

seventeen

My entire body felt numb as I stared at the wooden casket in front of me, the drizzling rain and dark skies projecting exactly what I felt inside of my chest. I was sat in between Iris and Joe, my hand clasped tightly in Iris' and Joe's hand set on my opposite shoulder. Crying was no longer a possibility for me. I'd spent the past week both crying myself to sleep and waking up in the middle of the night screaming at the memory of the night I lost her. I was haunted by the memory of holding her lifeless body in my arms, and I wasn't sure if anything would have been able to mend the shattered heart in my chest.

It had been a week since that night, and I wasn't any better now than I had been then. Joe refused to let me out of his sight, taking a few personal days off of work to keep an eye on me and make sure that I didn't do anything stupid. He was convinced that as soon as I managed to snap myself out of my paralyzing depression, I'd go after Hartley with a fiery vengeance. I didn't blame him for thinking that way. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in what happened to Izzy, and if I wasn't still trying to process the fact that I would never see her again, I would probably think that I would go after Hartley as well. He was the one who took her from me, and, while I was irate with him, I couldn't bring myself to act on any of my emotions. I was drained from lack of sleep and a wide mixture of emotions, and I just couldn't waste what little emotions I had left on someone like Hartley.

Iris and Caitlin had been the most empathetic and compassionate people in my life throughout the past week. Since they both had experienced the loss of a significant other, they knew exactly how I felt. Even though Ronnie was still alive, Caitlin knew exactly how I felt since she thought that he was dead for the better part of a year. They both picked up on the fact that I didn't want to talk about Izzy, and that I really just wanted someone to sit in a room with me. I couldn't find the strength or the will to speak more than a few, simple words at a time, and I was glad that everyone was choosing to respect that. It made everything a little easier, but the very foundation of my life had been shaken by Izzy's death.

I stared at the priest reading out of his Bible, most likely giving Izzy her last rights before her body was lowered into the ground. I knew that she would have hated the idea of having a priest at her funeral, but it was really my only choice when I was asked to help plan the dark day. I knew she wasn't religious, but if we hadn't had a priest speak, I would have had the honor, and I wouldn't have been able to get through the first sentence before completely breaking down yet again. I asked him to come despite myself and my knowledge of my girl, but it was better than making a fool out of myself on a day that was supposed to be about her. I knew that she was going to a better place, and I was slowly being able to come to terms with that.

I felt my heart contract when the casket started to lower into the ground. Everyone in the small ground started to disperse, and I struggled to pull myself to my feet. Iris stood with me, hugging me tightly and giving me her condolences for the thousandth time that week. I thanked her softly, about to start heading back to Joe's car so that I could go back home and feel free to cry and scream all I wanted when I was stopped by a feminine voice. I turned around to see a couple that would be around my parents age if not a few years younger. I immediately knew that it was Izzy's aunt and uncle, the woman having her beautiful eyes and soft facial features. I swallowed hard, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to fall yet again.

"Are you Barry Allen?" The woman asked. I nodded turning my body towards her completely so that I didn't come off as rude. "Hi. I'm Susan Nelson, and this is my husband Dave. We're--"

"Izzy's aunt and uncle." I finished. "She's told me a lot about you two."

Dave smiled slightly. "Izzy told us a lot about you too. She spoke very highly of you, Barry."

I smiled softly for the first time all week. "I would really hope so." I joked half-heartedly.

"You did a wonderful job with the funeral." Susan praised, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm sure that she would have been so happy at what you had done."