This Time
The voices in my head
Echo your voice
Whispering your taught
Over again and again
Easily changing everything you’ve said.
I reach out
Taking it too my lips,
I suck in a breath, discreetly hiding a gag.
This time I said yes.
A new year, a new leaf
Is what counsellor told me
I agreed with him half-heartedly
Knowing that I’d still have the same problems.
But he was right
Things were different
People cared more about their appearance
Then sneaking out for a smoke
Instead sneaking to the bathroom
To fix their hair and make-up.
Looking in the mirror
I looked dull in comparison
I changed my look
Becoming more like them
This time I said yes.
My counsellor told me
That making good decisions is important in life
But I’m not so sure
I made a good decision this time
With a baseball bat in hand,
I join my friends at my neighbour’s car.
I got caught up in their petty games.
Making a decision,
I turn and walk away.
This time I said no.
