Shattered

Chapter 1

There was blood everywhere. Every time I turned to look around there were bodies. I looked down at my hands, they were covered in something silvery and glittery, Pure Dust. It was the only thing that could heal our brethren, I hear a scream coming from behind me. I turn to look, "Help...me..."
It was a fellow Fallen, at least that's what we're known as now that we stopped taking orders from God, her wings were ripped from her back. There was blue metallic like blood oozing from the holes on her back where her wings were. I felt like I knew her, but I knew I didn't. I rushed over to her and turned her onto her stomach so I could reach her back better, putting my Pure Dust covered hands on the wounds. She screamed in pain at the touch, but the wounds were soon gone, in their place were pink scars. "Thank You, Kia" I looked around me, I'm the only one that she could be talking to.
"Kia? But, that's my Mom's name." She didn't seem to hear me, I guess no one could.
A Pure appeared in front of me, I tried to run the other way, but there was another blocking my way. I started to panic, I couldn't escape. The Pure in front of me held me firmly in place. I screamed in pain as the one behind me ripped my wings from my back, throwing them to the ground. The one that was holding me, took off into the sky, the one who ripped off my wings following.

I jolted upright in my bed, breathing hard. I felt a slight throb on my back, I took off my sweat covered shirt, tossing it to the floor. My hands reached instinctively to the throbbing scars on my back, my fingers brushing them slightly.
"Fuck...After all this time they still hurt like hell..."
I mumble to myself, trying to calm my breathing. I had to remind myself that it was only a nightmare, well a memory actually. A terrifying nightmare of a memory that wasn't mine, but my Mother's.
I've been reliving that horrible fateful day through my Mother's eyes for years. I hated it. I hated this. I hated her and all the other Fallen who'd betrayed our maker and made me live with this horrid nightmare for their sins. I hated them all for these throbbing scars on my back that ached every night when I awoke from the nightmare of the memory from the day my Mother fell from grace.
Why me? Why did God allow her to conceive me? Why let me be born into this hellish nightmare of a life?
I asked myself these questions a lot, though I knew the answer. It was because he wanted to punish my Mother, wanted her to pay for her sins. By making her watch her child suffer while she no longer had to endure the pain of the past herself.
Nothing was as great as the pain a parent had to endure while watching their child suffer, knowing it was their fault. Knowing there was nothing they could do to ease the pain and anguish.
And for centuries this curse will carry on, I too will one day give this curse to a child of my own if I so chose to find a human mate to spend my life with. But who could ever love someone as broken as me? Someone as damaged as me? I'm nothing but a mistake, a vessel God had allowed to live and breathe just to be tormented for all his life.
I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't have been possible to conceive with a mere mortal. But this was my Fate, my fate and my life belonged to this curse. My life was nothing more than a punishment for those who disobeyed God.
God why did you let me live?!
I think to myself angrily wiping the tears that began to fall.
"Please, just let me die and be rid of this curse..." I cried quietly to myself.
Why was I so weak...so worthless and broken? Why am I on this Earth when I'm only meant to be a punishment?
I hold my face in my hands crying softly.

I jump and silence my sobs when I hear my bedroom door creak open. I vigorously wiped my tears from my eyes as my mother entered the room cautiously.

"Noah?" She calls softly.
I stay silent, waiting for her to leave.
"Sweetheart, are you awake?"
I don't speak a word, I just slowly and quietly lay back down on my bed, pulling my covers over my head.
I hear her shuffle over to the end of my bed and sit.
"You had the nightmare again, didn't you?" She whispers softly to me.

I curl into myself under the covers as silent tears stream down my face, shutting my eyes tightly.
I just want her to go away and leave me alone.
"Noah, I'm sorry..."
I hear a choking sob come from her.

"I'm sorry my sweet baby, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to suffer because of my sins."
I feel her weight lifting as she gets up from my bed. I hold myself tighter, trying not to cry out, I hated that she gave me this curse...but I also hated hearing her cry for my sake.
I hear her starting to walk away.

"Mom, please wait...don't leave me alone."

I barely manage to speak through my tears. I hear her stop and walk towards me.

I peak through the covers and see her sitting on the floor by the bed; I reach my hand out from under the cover and grasp her hand tightly. She squeezes it back tightly.

"I'm sorry I was born Mom..."

I whisper very quietly.

"Im sorry for being born just to punish you, I shouldn't even be alive."

I feel her grasp my hand with bother of hers tightly.
"Noah. Don't ever say that, don't ever think you shouldn't be alive."
My eyes fill with tears once more and my throat aches.

"Don't ever be sorry for being born. I wanted you Noah, and I loved you from the moment I knew of you growing inside of me."

I sob loudly, my heart aching for my Mother and every other Mother who had to endure their child's pain because of their mistakes.
She moved the blankets away from my face and gently wiped my tears.
I leaned into your hand as she cooed and comforted me, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Mom...I'm scared." I whisper quietly before falling into a deep sleep, my Mother comforting me like a small child.
There were no nightmares this time, only blackness.

God was merciful enough to only make us relive it once a night. I couldn't take it if he'd made it so that it happened every time we slept.

In that moment, I was glad our God was merciful.

*********Author's Note*********
Hi guys! Long time, no see right? I know I've been gone for a long time, and I mean a LOOONG time. But life has been busy and hectic and I didn't have time for Wattpad really 😅 I'm sorry to everyone who's been waiting on an update on Izzie Collins, I promise a new chapter will be up soon! I'm back into the swing of things and I'll do my best to update at LEAST once a week, whether it's this new book (New to you guys anyways! This has been in the works for a looong time.)
Or an older book that's already published.
Well I guess I'll see you guys next update~
Thank you all for the support you've given me when I first came around ❤️