Self Discovery? Or foolishness?

Candle, oh candle

The entire house is silent other than the seperate conversations going on between family members. My sister is talking to her boyfriend. My parents and uncle are all talking together. I randomly put in a couple of sentences towards different people. The dog is running crazily through the house. Four candles light up the living room where we all sit together around the coffee table. A battery powered latern that's sitting on the fish tank also shines light but it's blue and painful compared to the yellow light of the candles. It's 9:30 P.M. on Friday night and our power is out. It seems like this is the only time our family actually sits down and connects like a family should. There's no fighting, no one on their phones or tablets, no video games, no television distracting people. We're all just sitting together talking like a good family should. If anyone saw us on this particular night, you'd think we were a happy, unbroken family but we aren't really. I make the comment to my friend that there are so many candles in my living room I feel like I'm performing a ritual for Hermes. The raging wind outside whips through the air conditioner in the kitchen and makes it sound like there's a pack of howling wolves outside. The minutes tick by as candle light flickers. It's soothing, the candle light I mean. No big, bright lights illuminating the entire room. The silent candles flicker and it seems as if my inner person just takes a very deep breath, breathing out a sigh of relief. My soul bears so much burden and now that it's so peaceful and quiet, my inner person is finally relaxing. He isn't worrying about whether or not his crush will say yes, or how his grades are going to turn out, or how much he hates himself, or how scared of the world he is. Nope, not tonight. Tonight, the candle light soothes his agonized screaming and he is reassured that the future is bright. One may ask how can one be reassured and soothed by a candle? It isn't like the candle is speaking to you or giving you some profound message sent from a high power. It's simply a candle. Yes, it's simply a candle but it's also the only beason of light in this pitch black room. That candle is the only way I can navigate around my house. That candle isn't speaking to me or showing a glimspe into the future, true. But were it not for that candle, I would be blind. I would struggle to get through my house or even see my sister sitting on the couch next to my chair. I'm not always superstitious but I've been feeling so down lately and tonight, the power gives up, like I've been wanting to. That candle represents that burning fire within me to keep pushing on through the darkness that is my life right now. It's 10:37 P.M. now and the candle light has simmered down to a soft but determind glow. My determination has been refueled and my will to continue on glows brighter. Thank you candle for helping me soothe my inner person. Thank you weather for knocking out the power and thank you Aaron for still existing and listening to your friends about never giving up. And even though the power is back and the candles have been blown out, my inspiration in that tiny little, flickering light lives on.