Brotherly Blunders

Thicker than Water

They ignored me, for the most part. They understood that at least: I am not like them. I can't move on. I can't distract myself completely from the fact that my brother is lying unconscious in a bathtub.

To be completely fair, neither can they. I can see it in their eyes. There is always that lingering uncertainty hanged in the back of the mind.

But, at least I can alleviate that feeling for them. As long as I am watching, they know they don't have to worry. That's why I stay here. To save them the grief, the heartbreak, the pain...

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

It's almost as though my mind is trying to find some kind of validity in the claim. In reality, even though I hate seeing my older 'Fearless' brother in this state, there is no place I would rather be at this moment.

Everyone knows we didn't always get along, but somehow I feel like I need to be here. By Leo's side. Keeping watch. It's my responsibility.

Responsibility...

What if Leo doesn't make it? I hated to even think it, but internally I knew I had to consider the possibility. What will happen?

Then something else occurred to me. Sensei's gone. Leo's down.

I'm the second oldest. As long as they're...I have to take responsibility.

I can't be the leader. I learned that through that escapade with Snakeweed. I don't have what it takes.

Maybe I can't lead them, but I can do my best to keep them going. I'm not ready. But I've learned after everything that's happened that fate doesn't act when you want it to. Looks like I'm gonna have to step it up.

I stood slowly. There was a frog in my throat and my chest felt heavy. I lay a hand over Leonardo's and whispered, "I'll be back. I promise."

I looked over into the old, broken mirror. My eyes glinted and steeled over. Time to see to my brothers.

-------------------

Another week has passed. I have re-established myself with my brothers. Mikey and I horse around just the way we used to. Don was insisting we have 'therapy sessions', but I quickly beat that idea out of his head. I mean, come on. He said I need to talk about my feelings. Huh. It ain't like there's anything to talk about. My Father's gone and my brother's in a coma, how does he think I'm gonna feel?

I returned to my usual training regime, as best as I could. There wasn't much equipment to train with in the woods. I grew accustomed to using trees for target practice. The trees also became my sparring partners, whenever the others weren't around. I actually found myself enjoying our surroundings, though I'd never admit it out loud.

Nature brought out a side of me that I had never really known before.

I have always been a city guy at heart. The sound of bustling people and roaring traffic ease my conscience. But nature, nature makes me feel...focused. It brought me a kind of inner peace that I had never known before.

But back to my brothers. With Leonardo still out, I have silently proclaimed myself temporary head of the family. 'Head of the family' mark you, not the leader. I could never be the leader.

They didn't seem to know the difference. They started looking up to me. Even Donatello, which I don't really get, since most of the time Don's brains outweigh my brawn ten to one. They began asking me what we should do, what our plans were for the future. I refused to answer. It isn't my place to determine things like that. Or is it?