The Feelings Project

TFP- One

•Baylee Zamora•

"Ready?" Austin asks, holding the camera.

I nod, and take a deep breath.

Austin presses record.

"Hi, I'm Baylee Zamora. I'm eighteen, and I've lived in Autumn Springs, Colorado my entire life. I'm a librarian, and I graduated from Dartmouth last year. If you had asked me yesterday if I wanted to compete on Summer Fling, I would have told you no way. But, since then, I've done a lot of thinking, and I think Summer Fling will be just what I need right now. If I got onto this show, I know that I would win, because I think that you need smarts to win this game, like past winners Fiona and Isaiah. Thank you," I spill out.

"Cut!" Austin yells out. "That's a wrap. Good job, little sis."

I let out a shaky breath. I don't like being in the spotlight for a long time, so that was definitely a risk I took. At work, I usually don't have to talk to the people that come in, because I work behind the scenes, reshelving and adding in new books.

One day ago, I was just a shy librarian. What happened to me?

•One day ago•

It was another day at Autumn Springs Community Library, and I was putting back a cart full of books while humming Tale As Old As Time from Beauty And The Beast.

I had seen the library copy of the movie lying around at an abandoned table earlier, and it had cemented itself into my head.

Suddenly, my phone rang, and I grabbed it to see that it was my older brother, Austin.

I ditched my cart and went into the back room to talk with him.

"Hey Austin," I say. "I have my shift right now, can I talk to you later?"

"It's only going to take one second, Hay Bayles," Austin replies quickly, using the nickname he had given me when we were younger.

"Okay, go ahead," I sigh impatiently.

"Well Hay Bayles, today I was out with Ellie," Austin starts. "And it felt so right. It was just an amazing day. So, I proposed."

Ellie was Austin's girlfriend, she has been for five years, and my parents have always been pressuring them to get married.

"Austin! You proposed?" I yell excitedly.

I look around, hoping no one heard my yell. We weren't allowed to take phone calls during work hours, but I rarely get phone calls, so if I do, I know they must be important.

Nobody was there, so I continued listening to Austin.

"She said yes!" Austin tells me, and I smile big, not wanting to attract attention from my coworkers.

"That's great!" I tell him.

"I'm so happy, Hay Bayles. Love is a wonderful feeling," Austin tells me. "I'll let you get back to work now. We can talk tonight."

I moved out from my parents' house the minute I got into Dartmouth, and Austin and I have shared an apartment ever since, but I guess now that Ellie and him are getting married, it won't be for too much longer.

I hang up, and go back to my cart, thinking of how different things are going to be without Austin. And then I start to think about what he said. How love was a wonderful feeling.

It hits me right then. I've never experienced love, have I? Like real, true love, not sibling and family love.

I haven't had my first kiss, never held hands, never had a boyfriend, never whispered "I love you" to someone at night, none of it.

And now, I want that more than ever.

When I got home to see Austin, I had congratulated him, and we had a moment of pure happiness. But then I got jealous. I wanted what he had. I wanted it bad.

Our favorite show was on that night, Hiking, Climbing, and Cooking, a reality tv show competition that puts contestants on teams, and has them hike, climb, and cook their way to a hundred thousand dollars, so Austin and I ordered take-out and watched TV.

"Come on, Evan! Climb faster! You're almost there! Amy is catching up!" Austin yells at the screen.

"Let's go, Amy! Just a little bit more!" I cheer as Amy climbs to Evan's level.

"No!" Austin shouts dramatically as the show goes to commercial right as either Amy or Evan (hopefully Amy) was about to win the climbing competition.

A commercial flashes by my eyes, one that I normally overlook, but not today.

"Get ready for drama, fun, and love!" The announcer shouts. "Summer Fling is back, and we're looking for this year's competitors! Go to www.avc.summerfling.com for more information."

I remember Summer Fling, my aunt always watched it when we visited her when Austin and I were younger. She told us all about what had happened that season, and we found it interesting, but it wasn't a show that Austin and I would watch on a regular basis.

Last time we visited Aunt Mariana, about, she had told us that two of the competitors had fallen in love on the show.

Fallen in love.

Maybe, just maybe, I could find love on that show.

My eyes widen, and I jump across Austin to the laptop computer.

I want what Austin has.

I want love.

•One Day Later•

"Okay, Hay Bayles, I'm sending in the video now. The website says the show will respond in a couple weeks or so. We literally just met the deadline," Austin tells me.

I'm happy that he's being so supportive about this whole thing.

Most people would tell me I was crazy, but that's what I love about my brother. He's so helpful and caring. When I explained to him what I was doing, he literally just said, "Okay. How can I help?"

Sometimes I feel like he's more of my assistant than my brother.

"Do you think I'll get in?" I ask him.

"Of course," Austin tells me. "Look at this video again. Do you see my amazing editing skills?"

I laugh, and so does he.

"Thanks, Austin," I say with a smile.

"No problem, sis," He replies. "I have to go though. Ellie and I are meeting to discuss our wedding theme. Do we even need one?"

I shake my head at his stupidity. Ellie's the bride, whatever she says goes. If she wants a theme, she gets a theme.

"Bye, Austin," I say as he walks out.

I turn to the laptop and play my video again, wincing at how much I'm shaking.

•Four Weeks Later•

Dear Ms. Baylee Zamora,

We are e-mailing to inform you that you have made it pass the video process. We would like to inform you that you have been one of the fifty or so to go into the interviews. Please respond back as soon as possible to discuss the dates and times for interviews. The flight to Boston, where Summer Fling is filming this year, and where interviews will take place, is expense-free, so there should be no monetary concerns.

Sincerely,

The Crew of Summer Fling