That Should Be Me (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 3 - What?

“Taylor? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I didn’t know what to do. I had never seen him cry. He looked so fragile. All I wanted to do was hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay. The sight of the boy that I love in tears made me want to cry, too.

“Can you come out here and talk real quick?” Something wasn’t good. Something was really not good. I stepped on the front porch. Taylor sat on the first step and motioned for me to join him.

“Tay… What’s the matter?” I was almost panicked. Something was not right and I didn’t like that feeling.

“This isn’t exactly easy for me to say.” I didn’t like the sound of that. “I, um… I have to… I have to go away… for a while.” What? Is this a joke?

“No. What do you mean? Where are you going? What do you mean you ‘have’ to go? What?” I’m so confused. It’s like that’s the most popular feeling at this point in time because that’s all that I’ve been lately.

“I can’t tell you. I’m so sorry, Casey. I love you so much. Please remember that.” Oh my god. Like, what? No. This isn’t actually happening right now.

“Taylor Riley, you have exactly 5 seconds to tell me where the fuck you are going and why.” I almost never cursed like that. I always just say ‘hell’ or ‘damn’, but that’s the worst. I could tell that Taylor was shocked at my usage of that word.

“Babe, I really can’t. I’m sorry.” He started crying again, which made me start crying. Were we… Breaking up? Let’s ask.

“So what does this mean? If you’re leaving, are we…… breaking up? Am I ever going to see you again?” The tears wouldn’t stop. I feel like I already know the answer to this… I just don’t want to hear it.

“I… I don’t know.”

“You didn’t answer. Are you breaking up with me?” My heart was pounding. My face was on fire. I felt like I was going to throw up. Just yesterday everything was perfect. He told me he fucking loved me in front of everyone in my school for Christ’s sake! Is this a practical joke? Because this isn’t funny. All I wanted to do was cry. Actually, that was all that I could do. I was legitimately panicking.

Taylor stood up and started walking away. What does that mean? Is that a yes? What is going on right now… Without turning to face me, all he said to me was “I’m so sorry, Cas, but we’re over,” then started running away from my house.

My heart sank. My first boyfriend, my first love, my everything just broke up with me. There was only one time that I’ve ever felt this broken, and that was when my Dad passed away…

I don’t know what to do.

Where did he go? Should I try to find him? It would be too obvious if I took my car. I waited for about ten minutes to try and collect what just happened. Then I ran.

The tears wouldn’t stop falling. There was a sharp pain in my chest. Is this what it feels like to get your heart broken? Because it sucks.

I just ran and ran. I didn’t stop to breathe or anything. Just ran. I was trying so hard not to think about what just happened. But believe it or not, it was all that I could think about. How could he do this to me? How does someone tell you that they love you, and then break up with you the next day because they’re ‘going away?’ Where was he going? I actually don’t know how long I’ve been running. But I’m not upset anymore… Just angry. Pissed off. Livid, actually. How dare he? Why couldn’t he tell me where he was going? Everything was going so perfect. We were perfect. We were in love… or at least I thought we were.

I started to notice where I was. I saw the long staircase leading up to Taylor’s ‘friend’s’ house. Did he come here when he ran off? Should I knock on the door and find out? What if I’m not welcomed there and I get chased out by that man with the shotgun? I don’t feel like dying tonight.