There are regrets that never really leave.
They stay somewhere, in the back of your mind, in the silence,
on days when everything seems fine.
I think about everything I could have done,
everything I wish I had said, all the times I wish
I could have changed things.
For a long time, I thought that if I had done more, if I had understood sooner, if I had been different, maybe the ending would have changed.
But I know now that it was never mine to carry all of this.
Still, the pain remains.
It comes without warning, in a memory, a song,
a date, a moment when I simply wish
I could go back.
There are days when her absence feels impossible.
As if my heart knows she isn't coming back,
but a part of me is still waiting.
And I think the hardest part is not only losing her.
It is having to live with all the things i could'n fix, with all the "what ifs"
that will never have an answer.
