Chapter 1: Realisation

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21:39. A cool summer evening, the sky already settled into a deep, gloomy blue. Out in Ak's garden, the low metal bench faced the back of the house, where warm light from the kitchen window threw long shadows across the lawn.

"I think you're the lengest Iraqi in London," Ak said after starting a video recording for their shared TikTok account.

Nori just shook his head, pulling a face at the camera.

"Oh, you don't think so?" Ak asked.

"I know a few bredrins better looking than me, man," Nori said, casually brushing off the compliment with a shrug.

"Nah, I don't think so. Look at the goatee, look at the hair..." Ak paused, his eyes dropping down to Nori's chest. "The muscles..."

Nori raised an eyebrow, a grin creeping onto his face. "Yeah?"

Ak caught himself, his chest suddenly feeling strangely tight.

Wait, why did I just say that?, he thinks to himself. But he forced his voice to stay flat, quickly changing direction.

"Yeah, you carry yourself well. Girls rate it."
...

"Are you okay?" Nori asked, laughing a little as he caught the sudden shift in Ak's energy.

Ak stayed quiet, his throat going dry.

"You want some of this, don't you?" Nori teased, flexing his shoulder jokingly.

An awkward smile broke across Ak's face as he shook his head. "Fuck off. N..No." He tried to sound confident, but slightly stuttered

Nori just grinned, letting the silence hang between them.

"... Okay one minute, safe," Ak said quickly, grabbing the phone off the table to end the video before it got any weirder. He kept his eyes glued to the screen, captioning the video and posting it to their page.

Ak looked back at Nori. "Uhh, are you staying the night?"

"Yeah, just need to swing by my yard and change first."

"What's wrong with what you're wearing?"

"Shirt feels gross, man."

"Just borrow one of mine," Ak said, standing up from the bench and looking down at him. "We're the same size anyway."

Nori laughed, standing up to stretch. "Fair enough. Go on then."
...

Later, sitting on the edge of his bed, Ak watched as Nori pulled the borrowed shirt over his head. A bright yellow shirt with green "Brasil" text stood out against his skin, the blue collar framing his neck. A slightly loose fit.

"Suits you," Ak murmured softly.

Nori didn't answer right away. He was staring down at his phone, scrolling through the comments on the video they'd just posted. Suddenly, he let out a short laugh and turned the screen to face Ak.

"Look at this comment, bro."

Ak leaned in to read the text on the screen

"Just lips already [sticker]"

Ak forced a quick laugh, but inside, his heart did a sudden, violent drop. He cleared his throat, trying to play it off.

Nori lowered the phone, his dark eyes locking onto Ak's. The playful smirk was still there, but his gaze was sharp. "You were looking at me intensely earlier. You got feelings for me or something?" He took a few steps towards Ak, watching his reaction closely.

Ak's mind raced, his hands going slightly cold as he tried to swallow down the sudden wave of panic.

"No, of course not, bro," Ak said, forcing a scoff as he moved to sit against his beds headboard "Air that."

"You sure?" Nori squints lightly.

"Yeah man."

Nori kept staring at him for another two seconds, before his face relaxed back into a soft smile.

"Mm, okay." Nori shook his head, turning back to his phone as he walked over to the side of the bed. He kicked off his slippers and crashed onto the mattress, resting his head against the spare pillow, like he'd done a thousand times before.

Ak let out a quiet sigh.

"Put something on the TV, then," Nori said, lazily scrolling through his fyp.

Ak grabbed the remote from the nightstand and put on a random movie they'd both seen halfway through before. As the movie played, they both went silent.

Nori was propped up on his side, one arm tucked under his head, his eyes glued to the screen.

Ak sat backed up against the headboard, his eyes fixed forward, but he wasn't watching the movie. Every single one of his senses were focused on the guy sitting next to him.

He could smell the faint scent of his own laundry detergent mixing with Nori's cologne on the borrowed Brazil shirt. It felt overwhelming. It felt wrong.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Ak thought to himself. That's your friend. Your brother. Stop looking at him.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the thoughts out of his head.

...

About forty minutes into the movie, Nori's breathing slowed down, turning deep and even.

Ak turned his head slowly.

Nori had fallen asleep on his stomach, his face turned toward Ak, one arm heavy across the duvet. In the dim glow of the TV screen, the sharp edge of his jaw looked softer.

Ak reached a hand out, his fingers hovering just an inch above Nori's shoulder. His heart was beating so hard, he was convinced it would wake him up.

He wanted to run his hand through Nori's hair. He wanted to trace the line of his jaw. He wanted it so badly, it physically ached in his chest.

But Ak pulled his hand back, clenching it into a fist, and looked up at the ceiling.

I think I'm in love with Nori

The thought hit his brain like a brick, heavy but undeniable.

He turned away, rolling onto his side facing the wall, and pulled the covers up to his chin, trying to fall asleep.

Shit.

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