A Chance With You

1.

Jay.

There was nothing more to say. My band members and I were debuting with our setlist of music next week. Way Entertainment Marketing team added that there was nothing else to do, we had maxed out pre orders, over eight million followers on our instagram and our fans were wildly in love with us, and I loved every one of them.

When I was 20, if you told me I'd be a popular idol I would have told you it was a delusional opinion, but now as I scroll through pictures we posted, I see, a million likes in one, a comment by a popular celebrity that I love in another, a collaboration photo with another s tier celebrity and so many comments expressing love, our account had joy and so was my heart.

But something was still weighing me down, it was a thought that has never escaped my mind in the last seven years, I seem to go back to that memory, the memory of me, sitting by the disciplinary committee, back in Chonin High, and him, sitting opposite me, luscious hair in his face, blood dried from his nose, his musky scent, his eyes, looking at me from a bowed angle.

I wish I could remember what his eyes were trying to say, were they empty? Angry? Did he stare at me with daggers shooting from his eyes?

I won't have known even then, I had glanced and looked straight to the committee leader,

"Yes, he's the one who assaulted me,"

My lawyer stood up, and his voice drowned from my thoughts, I looked to the ground then I too, looked at him from that angle. Then walked out of the room.

Yue tapped my shoulder and I was startled back to reality, everyone had walked out.

"I'm not really sure about it but the closest I got to finding someone with that name is some guy who works in the Red Light District." Yue showed me his phone, it had a picture, a familiar face of a guy whose life I destroyed. Guilt consumed me.

"It's him." I said.

"When are you planning on going?" I looked out at the window of Yue's apartment, it had the view of Seoul, I felt so small when I looked out, the weather looked nice today, I thought.

"Today." I replied.

I walked back and sat on his couch.

He walked to his kitchen and a few minutes later, walked back with two bowls of ramen.

"We'll be stuck in that studio for so long might as well eat whatever we want" he commented as he sat next to me.

"When have we never done that." I replied and we let out a laugh.

A football game was on, we were watching mostly to keep up with whatever's going on, Yue and I supported one team and they were disqualified for this tournament.

"I hope they lose," Yue commented as he pointed to a player,

"Literally just hate watching this," I replied.

We say in silence for a while, watching the game, eating the ramen.

"So, are you gonna fuck him?" He leaned on the couch after he was done eating.

" I don't know, should I?" I joked.
"I'd dapple in gay stuff to be honest." He replied.
I laughed. I kind of knew he might be gay but I can settle for this.

"I'll introduce you next time." I replied.

When the woman's hand touched my neck, I swatted it off, "I'm not looking for a good time, I'm looking for someone." I told her with both my hands holding hers still.

"You can have both,"she was tall, wearing a black bra, tattoos all over her arm and waist, a tattoo on her thigh, and wearing jean shorts, leg warmers and heels.

She smelled amazing.

"You know a guy named Orion, he should be around here." She stood still,

"No "

I walked past her when another stopped me, and I asked the same, another and another until I reached the end of this tiny red lit lane.

A woman, in her mid twenties, dressed in a white bikini was leaning on a wall, smoking. She looked at me.

"How do you know Orion?" She asked as she exhaled the smoke and it reached me.

"Old friend," I replied.

"We call him spider Lily" she replied then moved her head to a direction.

"100 bucks and I take you to him,"

"Oh come on."

"Suit yourself."

"I only have 40." I said.

"That's no money."

I sighed. She might even con me. "Well you'd have to give me your number then I can send the rest."

She quietly looked at me, dragged more smoke then threw the butt on the ground.

"I'll take the forty. "

The first thing I noticed about the room, aside from it's pink lighting was the chandelier that hung from the high ceiling. The building was in furthest corner, a different building from the interconnected buildings in the lane, no other building was in sight, it felt like entering the backrooms.

Huge shears hung from the door creating a sparkling effect from the lights inside. Cantonese music was playing from large bass speakers located all over the room, it was one huge room, chairs on the side, a pool table, a bar, patterned tiles on the wall and filled with palm trees in the corners.

"Is this an exotic bar?" I turned to the woman but she had disappeared.

I looked outside for a second, as if she would reappear, I turned back.

He stood in front of me, practically towering me, six foot something, he looked down on me, and I up at him. His hair was tied in a bun and his body muscular.

"Wow, you've gotten some exercise," I said trying to break the ice.

The music changed, I recognized it immediately

Close to you - Karen Mok

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

His huge physique had shadowed me from the light,
I swallowed, I started feeling the weight of it all, of everything I did to him, I looked around, I remember he wanted to be a doctor, I made him this, this was my fault.

He leaned and placed his hand on his knees, the light illuminated on me then.

"Jay is that you?" He said then he did something unexpected. He smiled at me.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

As I sat by the counter, he made me a cocktail and placed it on the table, he then poured himself some whiskey on ice and downed it immediately.

I took a sip of mine and looked at him
"It's really good."

"Okay." He started unbuttoning, "let's get to business,"

"Huh?" I took a minute to get it. "No, I'm not here for that" he was by the jukebox, and changed the song to an Afrobeat, full volume.

He was standing in front of me naked.