Dog Will Hunt

Josiah Cambridge swallowed the bitter yeasty lager with gusto, his fifth already, and began his routine.

It was a strict routine that he'd developed over the course of over thirty years, usually in rural parts of Cambodia and Germany where the beer flowed and the women danced. His current position in this dingy bar left him with no pessimism as he carried out his performance. Every new talk with a girl here was a different story. Some had the kind of conversation and attitude that Josiah was sure made most men at ease, especially since most in this first bunch relied on these conversational skills. Their faces were pudgy, with dirty nails from hard physical labor, and usually a couple of diseases or two that mightily displeased Josiah and his routine. The second bunch was a lot more appealing to him, with large and, often times, perky breasts, with faces that would make even the girls back in America blush. Their skin was usually the perfect caramel brown (at least, perfect to Josiah), and their rear ends only added to their beauty. He liked them full and lively, which was sometimes a hard thing to come by in this portion of Mexico, where most of the women whored to earn a living or peddled drugs with the many local and country-wide cartels.

Having had a chihuahua in the past as a short lived pet, Josiah thought the name of his current residence was rather ironic, considering what he's been doing here was the same he did to Ol' Larpy, named so for his extremely loud "larping" sound that his father used to say. He moved from local bar to local bar, doing his routine with an experience that could even sometimes trouble him. Of course every routine had slight variations, sometimes he wouldn't take them until they left the bar, sometimes it would be before, with a common little drug known as "Roofalin", which would help with multiple steps of his routine. Then there was the more risky "home" option, which he prefers not to use unless it has been multiple weeks without one of his grand releases.

One of the reasons Josiah never uses the "home" option is for several reasons really. What if she has a boyfriend or husband? Common enough problem, but then you also consider hidden lovers that could drop in at a moments notice, and most of said lovers in this part of Mexico weren't to keen on having some gringo in his delicate Mexican flower. So he stuck with the first two options primarily, switching between them at any given time as not to arouse suspicions between small local towns. The only time he'd chosen the "home" option, was back in 1998, when he attempted to follow some pretty young blonde thing back to her home. Her hair was smooth and straight, her rear was something to behold, and most importantly, she had the look in her eyes. That sweet innocence that only came across his path a few times before. He immediately was invested, and before he even left Big Louie's tavern in Fishtail, Pennsylvania, he had himself a woody the size of a largemouth bass. He eventually was able to make the move on her about two minutes after she entered her house (she was drunk enough to not only leave the door unlocked, but she was also gracious enough to start stripping almost immediately to lay on her dark purple sofa), and was able to get some of the best parts of his routine done, mainly the "twisting" and "pulling" bits, before her secret lover barged in through the front door. He was a big motherfucker in Josiah's opinion, and thus needed a more special kind of treatment, and so he immediately pulled the Beretta M9 he had stored in his back pocket in case of emergencies, and this was one big fucking emergency, as Josiah noticed the man (who he later found out through news clippings was a man who'd been cheating on his own wife and was a very successful lawyer), taking out the longest switchblade he'd ever seen. The blade itself easily reached 5 inches in length, and would have a very easy time splitting him open like a Christmas goose. The man was approaching Josiah slowly, unsure how to approach, seeing a wild half naked man straddling his booty call with a pistol. The insanity of the situation ended up being in Josiah's favor, as the man glanced quickly at his lovers bare ass (sticking in the air still due to loverboys interference), he grabbed the man by the throat, pinching his long and uncared for nails into the man's throat, the man tried to stab Josiah but in the sudden rush, lost his switchblade and was now at the mercy of a man he'd never seen before in his life. After about fifteen minutes of deliberation with the gun, pointed at both the loverboy and the lovergirl (who'd finally awoken after the short tussle), he decided he was going to have to make this an even bigger situation. If he left, they'd know him and could report him, and up until this point he had never been reported for anything more serious than kicking a neighbors dog. On the other hand, if he killed them, he'd not only have to flee the state but likely the country. "Well...." He said out loud as he was thinking of his present option, "I suppose you guys are done for", and before either could speak they were silenced forever. The next day he had a new name and a new style about his look as he walked into the airport and headed for his soon to be departing flight, a flight to Mexico.