I'M NOT OKAY

pilot

Woken by the sound of the dumb old neighbor cutting grass at 6 am. in the morning. 'Who the Fuck cuts grass at this bladdy hour.' I swung my head up "Ughhhh!" as I walked towards the front door,"Garid! Its 6 Fucking am, Why the Fuck are you cutting grass... its not even a centermeter long!" Garid with his dumb dementia face "Oh is that the time, alright then, goodnight." As he jams each foot infront of each other bladdy guy looks like his constantly dodging branches. "Garid! You look like you practicing to dive in your grave...do you need ... a hand?" He slowly turns his head towards me as if his a dumb sloth, Fuck even sloths move faster. "Sure!" As I hold his hand to guide him in the house, he says,"Hey, er... you must be new here, er... the lady next door...er Agé er-" "huh!" (I can read morce code faster.) "Agenís is a bit of, let's say, a bit of a character." I pretentiously and sarcasticly ask."Oh really, in what way?" Without hesitation like a teenage girl with gossip, he turned and said "Shes rude! and always swears at everyone. She's definitely going to die alone. What's your name?" I looked him in the eyes..."Agenís! and you know what? I won't die alone because I'm going to make sure I get my ashes thrown on your grave!". He did this sort of hiccup jump. "You just as harsh!"... "I am her!" I shout as I walk away with my arms spread.

'I need a cup of coffee.' I got home and found that I only have just enough coffee for one more cup,'seriously, it's not even month end!' I sighed as I allowed myself to enjoy this cup while I leaned against the kitchen counter - "TA!" Pitch darkness, 'Fuck it! I'm just going to sleep and check that in the morning.'
I head to bed after I gulped my last bit of coffee.

As I'm just getting nice and cozy and starting to fall asleep, "BEEP BEEP!... You can just put that down here!" 'WHAT NOW!' It's 7:30 in the morning, I literally have to get up in 30 minu-. "HEY WATCH IT!"...'I'm going to sort whoever that is!'.
I open my door, and much to my surprise, there's a neighbor moving in across the street. "OFCOURSE YOU STRUGGLING, YOU'RE A BLADDY TWIG SHAPED BRAINLESS CARCASS! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THIS JOB!?"... I gasped 'how rude!' As I stood there in shock, Garid with all his enthusiasm tries to scream my way "You might not die alone after all! Err...We can burn you both at the stake, er...TOGETHER!" As he turned around like one of those vertical rotisseries , the only difference was this one had a wiggle to it too and no kebabs.
"I don't want that!" I said with so much disgust, Garid with his bobblehead peaks at the new neighbor and then slowly glances at me."I dont know what to say... er You both...seem perfect...for each other er... to me.", "In what way are we-", "I DONT HAVE THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY! CHOP! CHOP!"...Garid with his eye brows almost touching his non existen thairline "Do one of those eer...DNA sibling things first err... yeah!" As he fiddles with his fingers trying to get to the words fast enough, I was too stund to speak "I need to get ready for work!"

'Found the problem of why my lights tripped... the kettle.'. My clothes are ironed, I smell nice, my hair is working with me today, the breakfast was nice. 'Hmm... I wish getting ready could be like this every day.' I thought as I was reversing my car out.
"Ggggg!"... that was the sound of my car grating against the new neighbors car, and as I hit breaks, it carried on because he was also reversing, and by the time he stopped we were looking eye to eye.