MEET THE MINI

Starring Engineer and his brand-new daughter, Mimi

[INT. RED BASE – ENGINEER'S WORKSHOP – NIGHT]

The place is a glorious junkyard cathedral. Tools everywhere. Blueprints scattered. A steaming mug sits by a dusty photo of the team. A record spins an old country tune low in the background.

Engineer (muttering to himself):
"Pyro's been quiet since Scout dropped his lollipop. Soldier's runnin' low on 'MERICA. Spy's more bitter than usual. This team's fallin' apart faster than my ol' college truck..."

He wipes sweat from his brow, tightening the final bolt on something... small. Humanoid. Glowing. Sparks fly. One eye flickers open. Then another. A short figure sits up slowly from the table.

Mimi (groggy):
"...H... Hello?"

Engineer freezes. Then slowly breaks into the warmest damn smile this side of Texas.

Engineer:
"Well I'll be... You can talk."

Mimi (whiping her eyes):

"Who are you?..."

Engineer (grinning like a happy father):

"Aint that a cute lil gun~.. call me-"

she cuts him off by saying

"PAPA"

Engineer just smiles an nods.

"Yep.. I'm yer Papa."

[INSERT TITLE CARD]

---

The RED Team is mid-argument. Soldier is yelling about ducks in the vents again.

Soldier:
"I SWEAR ON LINCOLN'S GHOST THERE'S A QUACKING CONSPIRACY!"

Medic:
"Ja, perhaps you are simply having a breakdown. Again."

Suddenly, the door bangs open.

Engineer strolls in, wiping his hands, followed by—

MIMI, all 4'6" of armored adorableness, skipping in with metallic clinks. She has one oversized rocket arm, a sentry-style helmet, and the biggest, happiest smile imaginable.

Mimi:
"HI!! I'm Mimi! Who wants pancakes and violence?!"

Scout (chokes on drink):
"YO WHAT."

Heavy:
"...Tiny... sentry... girl?"

Mimi:
"I can calculate ballistic trajectories and tie my own shoes!"

She steps forward—clunk clunk clunk—then hugs Engie's leg.

Mimi:
"Love you, Papa."

Engineer (smiling softly):
"She's got a rocket launcher, emotional awareness, and likes apple juice. Be nice."

[INT. HALLWAY – MISS PAULING ENTERS RED BASE]

She's flipping through a clipboard, muttering about munitions logistics.

Miss Pauling (cold, focused):
"I swear, if one more shipment goes missing—"

She rounds a corner—and there stands Mimi. Covered in stickers, holding a teddy bear in one hand and a rocket launcher in the other.

Mimi (eyes wide):
"Hi! You're really pretty!"

Miss Pauling:
"..."

Pauling's eyes twitch. She drops her clipboard. A sound escapes her lips not heard in years.

Miss Pauling:
"SKDJFHKSDJ—OH MY GOD SHE'S ADORABLE—IS THIS—ENGINEER DID YOU BUILD A DAUGHTER?!"

Engineer (proud dad mode):
"Yup."

Pauling (squatting down immediately):
"She has LITTLE SHOES! AND HER VOICE IS LIKE A WINDCHIME FULL OF EXPLOSIVES!!"

[INT. TRAINING ROOM – LATER]

Mimi's running obstacle courses, rocket-jumping like a maniac. She shoots a practice dummy through three walls.

Soldier (tearing up):
"TRULY... THE PERFECT CHILD."

Spy:
"This is a warzone, not a daycare—MERDE—" gets hit with a foam rocket

Mimi (giggling):
"BOOM!"

[EVENING – ENGINEER'S WORKSHOP]

Mimi's curled up on a bench. Engie sets down his wrench and kneels beside her.

Engineer (quietly):
"You okay, darlin'? That Spy didn't say nothin' too mean, did he?"

Mimi (sleepy):
"He called me a toaster with feelings... but I like toast, so it's okay."

Engineer:
"Heh. That's my girl."

She hugs him tight with her little metal arms. The soft hum of machinery blends with the sound of the rain outside.

Mimi (half-asleep):
"Thank you for building me, Papa..."

Engineer (tear in his eye):
"Thank you for makin' this place feel like home again."

[FINAL SHOT – NIGHTTIME OUTSIDE BASE]

A rocket flies out of a window.
Scout (offscreen):
"OH MY GOD WHO GAVE HER LIVE AMMO AGAIN—"
BOOM!

Engineer (from inside):
"Oops."