My dream diary

STAY IN THAT CATERPILLAR

I don't know why my dreams are always like this.

It started with me being a soldier. Not even in a normal battlefield either. For some reason, the whole place looked like some dark academia school mixed with a giant castle. Very dramatic. Very suspicious. Very "someone is definitely going to die here."

And somehow, we were all on a ship.

A ship.

Going to attack a castle.

Like pirates, I guess.

The weirdest part? We didn't even dock or do anything normal. We straight up crashed the ship into the castle like we had no survival instincts at all. It was just full speed ahead, full commitment, no thoughts.

Then the battle started.

Except the main center of the ship—where people were supposed to be serious and tactical—had a giant bouncy bed in it.

So while everyone was fighting for their lives, they were also bouncing around like kids in an indoor playground.

Imagine trying to stab someone and then suddenly boing.

I don't know either.

Anyway, our leader died. Just like that. Gone. Dead. Very tragic, I guess. And somehow the enemy won. So instead of dying like a respectable soldier, I did what any sane person would do.

I blended in.

I just acted like I belonged there. No one questioned it. Which honestly says a lot about their security.

Then suddenly, the whole place turned into a mall.

No transition. No explanation. One second war, next second shopping center.

Dream logic.

I went to the bathroom and immediately regretted being alive because whoever designed it should be arrested. The stalls were built in a way where you could literally see people pooping. Not one person either. Three people. In one sitting area.

I stood there thinking, what the actual fuck?

And then, as if my suffering wasn't enough, I ran into Tom Holland.

He was just there. Chilling.

Then I saw Robert Downey Jr. too.

And Zendaya.

Zendaya had this beautiful braid, and I actually stopped to tell her, "Nice braid."

She gave me the smallest smile ever. Like 10%. Not even a full one. But it was still pretty.

Then I saw Tom and Zendaya sitting together. Zendaya was talking to him, clearly trying to tell him how she felt, and this man was just on his phone looking through old photos of the two of them. Happy memories. Smiling pictures. Whole relationship montage.

While she was literally right there talking to him.

I just stared at him like, bro...

Then I said, "Focus on her."

Because apparently I had become an unpaid relationship counselor in the middle of a war-mall fever dream.

After that, I walked around the mall more, and my little sister suddenly appeared with me. Which should have been a warning, because this is where the dream stopped being weird and started becoming straight-up horror.

My mom was walking somewhere with my baby brother, and there were these cute mascots following her.

Well.