Cover Not Included

The First One's Free

So, if you read the description to this piece of shit story then you already know who I am. If you didn't because you're lazy and just decided to read this because of it's name, my name is Jack A. Peterson. I am a fictional character in this god forsaken story and I know I'm in it, basically I'm breaking the fourth wall down every few minutes just in case to see if you're paying attention. Enough with all the introductory crap I want to get this over with. Also, before we begin I would like to note that I am in college. Okay? Okay.

It's Tuesday night and I'm working on some bullshit history assignment that was due a day ago and my professor is giving me another chance. Then, suddenly my dumbass friend hobbles into my dorm probably drunk or high off his ass. I look at him and he looks at me, he immediately knows from my facial expression that I don't want to deal with his shit, so he hobbles over to his bed and falls in it falling asleep almost instantly. Now time to address the audience to introduce my friend, his name is Steven and I don't remember his last name. He's a stoner and a dumbass but I deal with him, he rarely gets on my nerves. Basically, he's a loser I can't hate. Anyways, let's progress the plot shall we? After Steven slammed himself into his bed I continued working on my history stuffs and eventually got it done... at 2 in the morning. I hate my life, but I got it done so I guess that's decent I need it anyways since I was failing history. Whatever, if I drop out freshman year it wouldn't really matter since it happens all the time. However, my dad would get pissed at me if I waste my scholarship.

Should I mention my parents in this part of the story? Nah, I'll work them in later.

Moving on, I'm tired as dicks and I finished a late assignment. Whoop-de-fucking-do. If I didn't do that assignment it wouldn't even matter I could of told them I wanted to switch majors again. The same excuse doesn't work twice in my opinion so I guess I'll just deal with it.

God I hate my predicament, I wish my author wasn't so much of an asshole to me all the time. Being a fictional character is hard you know... we have to be forced to do what the author wants and if we end up in a fanfic on Wattpad it is the end of the world for us. I don't even remember what this story was supposed to be about; was I supposed to fall in love with a girl, did I get super powers from my ancestors, or maybe it's about cancer... too Fault in Our Stars. Maybe this book was supposed to teach readers that you should care about how us character think, like we have set personalities given to us by our original authors and you shouldn't bend them so we can be in your OTP. I really don't know what this book was supposed to be about, I guess the author will choose some time later.

What were we even talking about earlier before I got all philosophical on your ass? Whatever I'll remember later...

(Author's note)

Jack A. Peterson? What an asshole. Oh, did you expect me to talk about the meaning about the book. No? Okay I was really banking on an idea. Whatever you're just gonna find out later on.