Shane and Ilya

Addiction - Ilya

(Kind of a one-shot by the way.)

My brain is numb as I take another drag, beyond the smoke my mind is racing. He says 'they are hurtful' but when I take another puff of the cigar, the numb lasts for a couple of seconds and gets stomped into the ground. Then it's back, 'I could've lost him, couldn't hold him in my arms for the rest of my life.' and he would have to learn about it on the god damn news. I come back to my body when I realize my cheeks are wet, but head wonders again and in the back of my mind, his voice shows up. "Grown man don't cry" but those strange words come on out of a grown man's mouth when his mind's broke. I try to forget, it's hard. The phone in my hand buzzes and I wipe my tears away. It's him, really him. After a few minutes he realized that the cigarette didn't do much when he had him to talk to. He finally wants to live for him. After the call, he promised himself to not smoke another one, because Shane finally had the same effect as them. -Ilya Rozanov

(My interpretation of Ilya's thoughts and actions in The Long Game while at the hotel after the plane ride from hell.)