Paradise (A Mindless Behavior Love Story)

Prolouge

"This shit sucks. I try to sit around here acting like I'm satisfied with my life, but I'm actually not."

I paused before speaking again. .

"The guys I call my friends don't know how it feels, and quite frankly, I don't think they care. They've all got their own shit to worry about and take care of."

"You can't blame them for that, it's a cold world out here and we all gotta make it through, alone or not." She says.

I sigh. I watched Kris as played with the water from the pond that was below her feet. Me and my bestfriend, Kris, would come here almost every weekend and talk. The scenery was beautiful. There was a small pond that was located in between a large field, and we were in the middle of it. Trees filled the area, but we always chose the clear space.

"I only really have two bestfriends. Marijuana and weed. Whenever, I need them they're there." I laugh.

My statement was true, because the high you experience is the greatest feeling in the world. The feeling where you block out all the pain and sorrow. The feeling that makes you feel at peace. It gives you the false perception that life is good for a few moments.

And then you come back. Your high has faded, and now it's over. You're back to your sad ass life. You are disappointed because you never want to leave that state; you just want to drown out in your sorrows and forget about the world.

"Well then." Kris scoffed, while rolling her eyes.

"And you Kris." I laugh.

"Oh you're so kind." Kris smiles sarcastically.

A silence filled the air.

"What about love?" She asks, exchanging a quick glance at me before focusing her attention back at the night sky.

Silly question.

"What about it?" I ask.

"How do you feel about it, after all this that's happened?" She explained.

"Oh, that." I thought to myself.

Around six months or so ago my girlfriend of three years called it off on me. We began dating at the early age of 13, we're both 16 now. She said she didn't want me anymore and she found someone better. It hurt me, alot because I truly loved her. I never loved anyone as much as her. I fell for her hard, and when she ended the relationship, a part of me changed. I was heartbroken. It was as if I became numb. I didn't want to open up to anyone again after that. I stayed to myself, but then I later realized that maybe if she moved on, then I could too. It's been hard, but I guess I can do it. I don't think I'll ever fall in love again though.

I still care about her, alot. But I can't reveal my feelings because why would you open a closed door just to lock it back up again?

But then again, she never really did make me feel like Kris does.

I don't know what it is, but whenever I'm around Kris it's like all burdens laid upon me are released and I can just be myself. I don't have to put up a front for her.

I doubt it's "love" though.

Maybe I don't know what love is...

maybe I do.

What if I just don't want to open up about love anymore? What if I don't want to fall in love and be heartbroken again?

"Hello? Chres?" Kris said, snapping her fingers in my face.

My mind drifted off. I quickly regained my attention and answered her question.

"Love is nothing but a joke. C'mon, we were born alone, so what makes people think they need someone in life when they're only just gonna die alone, without them? Love is nothing but a silly lie." I chuckle.

I looked at her expression. Her arched eyebrows wrinkled, sending a confused look on her face.

She opened her mouth as if she had something to say about the subject, but then quickly closed it and sighed.

"Why do you do that?" She asks, changing the subject while folding her legs up and resting her arms on them.

"Do what?" I ask.

"You act as if there's not someone out there that's crazy about you. Ya first love ain't nothing but trial and error. I bet that perfect girl is out there for you, she might be far away....

Or closer than you think." She quickly added.

"I guess Kris. But have you ever fallen in love before? Because..." I winced.

"I mean, you know I haven't had that many boyfriends before, but I definitely have fallen in love before..."

She said, looking at me.

"That was weird." I thought. I didn't make anything of it though.

"Anyways, enough about that, lets talk about something else." She said quickly changing the subject.

"Like what?" I ask.

"Life."

"Life can give you a variation of things to talk about," I speak.

"Mine is going downhill. I want a miracle." She spoke.

"Sorry ma, this is life. You can't get no damn miracles. Life is nothing but a game. It starts when you're born. Everything around you contributes to how your cards will be chosen later in life. The object of living is to be happy, successful and grow to be wise. In my opinion, I will never be that. I'm just that fucked up."

A silence was shared between the both of us.

"We're both two different people. My parents expect me to be something I'm not, and you're just a kid who doesn't know where they're going. You take it one step at a time, where my parents plan everything out for me. I hate it. I just wanna run-away." She sighs, laying on her back.

"You're not the only one who wants to run away. My mother doesn't even cares about her ole' boy. She's a drunken bitch who only cares about my father. But get this, he doesn't care about her. She tries to visit him in prison all the time, but he doesn't even wanna see her." I say.

We both laugh. Parents.

"Have you ever wished to go to a place where everything is perfect? Where they're no worries in the world. Where everything is carefree?" Kris asks me.

"You mean paradise?" I ask, looking at her.

"Yeaaah. Thats it. Where you can finally be at peace." She smiles, snapping her fingers.

"Happiness." I simply say.

"Something we both want, but do you think we could ever get it?"

"Probably not. The world hates people like us." I say, rolling my eyes.

She turns her direction over to face me.

"Chres?"

"Yeah?" I say, looking at the stars in the dark, quiet, night sky.

"Tell me about your paradise."

That question actually caught me off guard for a second because I really don't have a "paradise." Ironically, I always bitch about finding a place where everything is perfect, but I can't even describe of one.

"I don't know. Tell me about yours."

"My paradise is anywhere but here. I wanna start over, get a new name, and a new outlook on life. I just want to be happy for once, that's all."

I nodded at her response.

For the rest of the night, we talked about life. Thats one thing I loved about Kris. I could tell her anything and her company itself would make me feel better. Instead of nagging at me of what I should do, she makes me think of a positive direction of life that I'd never even think I'd think about. She was the only person who understood me, and I love her for that. We have a bond that cannot be broken. It's like we were two pieces of a puzzle, and we fit together perfectly. Without her, I'd be more fucked up than I already am.