People pleasing is a disease of the mind, a virus that can go undetected for years with no problems showing on the surface. Though as soon as you try to rewrite the coding, it brings the whole system crashing down
Sometimes I wish I could walk away as easily as those who choose to leave me stranded as soon as the words of caring sounding statements leave their lips. But that's the problem, all they are is empty words and broken promises.
I want to dance among the stars and believe that the world is entirely good if you are good to the world. To spell, you must also have a lie to complete the word. After being on my own, bouncing from one place to another, I've been noticing that more often. Maybe I am just a fool for wanting to see nothing but good in people who see me as nothing but a monster when they even bother to try and see me instead of a ghots floating around.
Now that I really think about it that would probably save me from all of the unnecessary situations I tend to find myself in. What a freaking loser I am, huh?
I'd tell you my name but I think I like not being judged by you... at least for now, I get to paint the picture that I want about myself through the words that I choose to say, rather than you passing judgment on me from the rumors that fly around from a crowd that doesn't see me.
Call me crazy or call me weird, but you're only my captive audience for as long as you choose to read my words. You're free to stop any time that you want because remember free will is always an option, but if youre anything like me you'll want to uncover what you don't know, and maybe just maybe if you findout the mystery, you'll be able to make friends with a ghost like me... or not. That's up to you.
Can I ask you a question?...
Jk I already know I can, because just like you, I know I have the free will to do anything I want to...
But I am curious what anyone thinks of me at all times
Have you ever wanted to fade into black like a ghost in the night, wishing you never existed? The aspect of being able to disappear freshly on your mind like an open wound that you try your best to leave alone. But try as you might, the flow of blood brings you a peace that no one can understand. To you, it reminds you that you're alive, to stay cautious of who comes close. The problem is you crave closeness the want to be seen as anything but broken when people look at you.
I wonder what it would be like to be seen and heard in the voice that I hear in my head. What a funny thought to have when you choose to do nothing but make walls that you think are protecting you from those you find to be a threat but maybe its just to hide away from the world.
Loneliness is a silent killer. An illness that can be hidden well from those who only wish to see things from a surface level, never wanting truthful answers when asking questions like how are you doing today? with plastered fake smiles that never reach their eyes. The Ghosts who are used to this route already slip into character as though it were their destiny to do so. Some Ghosts are created in childhood, others fade out over time as they get older. It's a sad cycle, really, if you care enough to pay attention, that is. Some pretend not to see the progression of ghosting happening, only to mourn the loudest when the light is completely extinguished from the soul, only to in turn, be the person who causes the ghosting progress in the first place.
Honestly, if you ask me it's truly hypocrisy at its finest, but I guess that would be the problem no one ever does ask me. Which would be a hurtful and annoying problem on its own if I were a normal human allowed to show and experience those emotions for myself, but alas, I am not. I'm simply a ghost. I would say it sucks or that I miss being human, if I had the memories of slowly fading out like the others, I've spent my time people watching. But the fact of the matter is being a ghost all I've known for as long as I can rember which is funny because it contradicts everything that we're taught. You see, the system teaches us that ghosts are made through the trauma or relationship experiences throughout the choices you make in life.
