Love Hard

Chapter 8

Damn it.

"Why?", he asked, tightening his grip further. "Am I hurting you?"

His face was morphed into an expression of anger, his eyes were filled with fire.

And hurt. An unexplained amount of hurt.

Coward? Had I said too much? Had I unknowingly bought to life some hidden fear of his? It was scary, because I knew his anger had taken over, he wasn't in control of his mind anymore, his thoughts had run wild. Anger can make us do terrible things, and I didn't want to be a victim.

I desperately hoped that this guy wasn't BPD or something. 

I shut my eyes as tightly as I could. "Yes.....yes", I sputtered and bit my lip.

He released my hand hand immediately. He was still standing close to me, I could feel his breath fanning my cheeks.

"I...I.." he uttered. "I'm sorry. I don't know, I didn't....", he was struggling to find words.

I opened my eyes to see that his expression had considerably softened, now he just appeared like a confused three year old whose mother had lost him in a grocery store. He ran a hand through his hair a few times and kept muttering series of apologies. It appeared to me that he had suddenly found a particular interest in his shoes as he continued to look down at them. Obviously, he was avoiding eye contact.

Oh, the irony of this situation.

"It's okay", I told him soothingly.

He immediately raised his head and stared at me for a solid one minute. His face was incorrigible, but his eyes held an element of disbelief. I stood there awkwardly waiting for the 'stare phase' to end.

"You should stay away from me", he finally spoke. His tone was deep and sincere, like for once he was actually thinking of me and not of himself.

"You should stop telling me what to do like you believe I'm actually going to listen to you", I said with determination.

"This stubbornness isn't going to get you anywhere", he stated.

"I don't want to be anywhere, I want to be right where I am and guess what smarty-pants, my stubbornness got me exactly where I want to be", I hit back.

"You're stupid."

"I'm still better than most people you know."

"What do you mean by that?", he questioned.

"I don't know, you tell me", I spewed.

"Because you've made yourself so clear, I absolutely don't have any problem with answering you." the sarcasm in his words stung to my ears.

I took a deep breath before uttering my next words. "Well",I'm talking about Marco. I saw you guys hanging out like old buddies in the multiplex. " 

"I mean", I continued to say, "Why is that bastard not in jail?" I repeated Lexi's words.

Jason was silent for a while as if lost in deep contemplation. 

"Are you going to say something or just stand here like a castrated old statue?" I blubbered and then immediately slapped a hand on my mouth. Damn! I really need to learn how to control my tongue while I'm angry.

"What did you say?", He asked in a tone full of surprise. 

"That's off the point. I simply meant to say answer me", I hoped that he would not stick to his question and gorge the words out of me again. 

"Marco is not in jail because no one filed a complaint against him", he said as a matter of fact.

"Oh", that is one valid point. Can't believe I missed it.