Introverts

A Walking Sickness

"Who is it?" Another student yells.

"Drum roll please!" Joe and a couple of his friends begin to drum on the table Tyler's standing on. Where's Dan? Isn't he supposed to be glued to Joes side? Tyler looks around the room anxiously until his eyes land on me and my heart picks up. Why is he staring at me? Wait- "Connor Franta and Troye Mellet!" He yells and instead of cheers I get silence. Everything's painfully still and I stare at the table. What the fuck?!

"What's wrong Connor?" Tyler teases and I swallow harshly. He knows exactly what he's doing. I've told him before that I don't want to come out, not only because I'm not ready but because of how small the town is. News spreads quickly and I don't even want to know what will happen when this spreads to my father. "Trouble in paradise?" He asks.

"What are you doing Tyler?" Zoe demands and he cackles.

"I just wanted to announce the good news. Where is Troye anyway?" My heart sinks and my legs tremble. Stand up and walk out, my brain commands but I'm frozen. "Oh, that's right. He moved away huh?" Tears brim my eyes and I look up to meet Zoe's caring gaze.

"Why'd he move Connor?" Tyler asks and I reach for my bag. "He got tired of you didn't he? Just like I did." I freeze, my hand in mid air, tears finally falling. This can't be happening.

"Tyler stop it." Zoe try's again but he doesn't even acknowledge her.

"At least that's what he told me, when he was laying under me with my tongue down his throat." At this moment I become painfully aware of everyone's eyes boring into me. My skin begins to itch. "He told me that you weren't enough for him so he had to get away, he said that he didn't know how to tell you that he doesn't love you." This stings, more than anything. Is that true?

"Tyler!"

"No! He needs to know. Connor, your not worth it. You don't deserve Troye or me or anyone else on this planet because your an emotional slob who needs a few therapy sessions and maybe even plastic surgery." I raise to my feet shakily, my bag in my hand. I have to get out of here.

"Where are you going?" I hear a voice say from behind me and I turn to see Joe. "Sit." I do. Not because he's intimating but because I'm to weak to do anything else.

"Connor," Tyler says sadly. "You don't even deserve the ground you walk on or the food you eat. I just want to be the one to tell you." He's right. I'm nothing, not even Troye wants me. Why else would he move away so suddenly? I just can't believe I bought the fake excuses and affection. I'm so gullible.

"Don't listen Con. You are worth it and I know Troye cared about you." Zoe says, grabbing my hand from across the table. She doesn't know, he never showed anyone the real him, the part of him that I thought loved me. It's far fetched, but something I thought might of been true. I was wrong.

"He's right." I croak, standing up and this time ignoring Joes presence. "I don't deserve any of you. I have to go." I sling my bag over my shoulder before jogging out of the cafeteria with tears falling.

I walk out the front doors like its no body's business. I need to get home before my dad does, I need to be prepared. Knowing this town he probably already knows. And he works with Tyler's dad (I know Tyler's dad isn't around but still I need him to be in the story, Kay?) and I can't imagine what has been said. I tune into my street, just barley seeing the roof of my house at the end of the road. When I reach Troyes house I stop.

I can see the interior easily. There's a pool behind this empty house, where I feel in love. It's most likely cold, lacking energy and body warmth. Kind of like me. There's a table in that house, were I sat with his family for the first time and actually got to know them. Now it's bare and lonely. Kind of like me. There's a bed in that upstairs bed room, were he laid talking into the early hours of the morning because I was scared. I still am.