If not you, then what is love?

Wake

"Expergiscere, nam columba socium desiderat" My head spins as I wake up from a very disorienting dream. I think to myself, "I swear I heard someone speaking". Whatever, I have better things to do than to drool on my pillow. 

My stomach rumbles with hunger. I make my way to the kitchen in my small apartment, hoping to find something more appetizing than the same cereal I've been eating for weeks now. "I need to go shopping... there is hardly anything in my fridge." I grab what's left of the milk and cereal, pouring myself a decently sized bowl, pouring the rest of the content out of the cereal box. 

Finishing my cereal, I go to my room to get dressed to go out and spend what little money I have on groceries. As I get my clothes, I spot myself in the mirror-- thin, just on the border of underweight. My face contorts slightly at seeing the ghastly sight. Whatever, I'm attractive enough in my own eyes. I put on a simple, but somewhat fashionable outfit, just some dark blue jeans with a coffee brown off-the-shoulder top. 

Walking out the door I check my phone, a text from Camille: <Hey Etienne, want to go out to the park that just opened up? I heard they have a really beautiful pond thing in the middle.> Camille was always one to drag me into something mundane and somehow make it the most interesting part of my day. I reply <Sure, should we get a coffee or something before we go? Just let me know what time.> Her reply was close to instant <Maybe around 2-3?> sigh, she was never good with time <2:30 sounds fine.> I decide to just agree on the median, that's usually what I do when it comes to Camille's "adventures". 

I grab my keys and make my way down to the lobby, exiting through the glass doors, heading to the parking garage parallel to my apartment complex. Making my way across the busy street I make it to the garage and find my car. I hop into my not so shabby 2015 Honda accord. Starting the engine, I make my way to the grocery store to pick up a few things. 

I check my phone when I get to the grocery store: <10:46>. I'm good on time. I walk into the Grocery store and take my time gathering the items that I need, some fruits and vegetables, the normal stuff. Once I pay for everything, I walk my way back to my car and load everything into the trunk and drive pack to my apartment. 

Once I reach my complex, I drive over to the small parking lot next to it and park my car. I get out and get the groceries and bring them up to the 6th floor. 618, my apartment... I unlock the door and bring everything insi- "Dove". I whip my head around after hearing this voice, "Hello?" I shout out fearfully. I muster up the courage to look around and find nobody. "I'm losing my mind... god I need to see a psychologist or something..."

I check my phone <11:32>. I have some downtime before meeting Camille. Heading into the kitchen, I grab an apple to snack on and put on my headphones to listen to some music while cleaning up my general apartment out of boredom. Music was always a good way for me to pass the time, the beats and vocals echoing through my body giving a sensual, almost euphoric sensation. I finish up what I was doing and look at the time <2:04> Wow, time does move quickly. 

I gather my keys once more and head out the door. Camille knows what I mean when I say let's get coffee, we always go to the same place anyways. I arrive early, as usual checking my phone <2:24> Camille should be here shortly, I'll just go in and order my usual latte. As I grab my order from the counter, Camille walks in like a spotlight is on her. She spots me and says "Etienne! I see you already got your usual." She looks towards the barista and places her order as quick as she walked in. We sit down and enjoy our coffee and eventually make our way to the park.

Camille and I enter the well-made, albeit new iron gates and get on the main path. Trailing down the tan gravel, we make our way to the center to see the pond. "How are you?" Camille asks. "Not too bad I guess, just kind of... existing right now. You?" Camille eyes me with slight worry in her greyish eyes. "I've been well, you already know that" I look down at the gravel as we walk onwards. "You really need to get a psychologist Etienne." I look at her with a strange face, "Camille, what are you insinuating" my tone shifting to an annoyed, borderline angry one. "Oh, don't look at me like that, you know I'm just worried about you, and your.... episodes." I look straight ahead and see we are almost at our destination, "I'll be fine Camille.".

We arrive at the large pond in the middle of the park; this is really nice actually. Camille perks up at the sight of the glassy water and several ducks. "Wow, this is prettier than I expected, a great spot for writing poetry." Camille says. I look across the pond and see a few people passing by, one person in particular catching my eye. A brunette man with a book in his hands, I can't make it out from here, but it has a dark yellow, no, sepia color. I eye him curiously as Camille starts taking pictures. As I'm basically staring at him, he looks up, and we lock eyes for a split second. I look away hastily and look back for a second, and it seems he's sizing me up? Or checking me out?

I return to Camilles side, moving away from whatever interaction that was. "Are you done with your pictures?" I ask Camille. "Yeah, that's about all I needed, I forgot to mention I got called into work today, so I have to be on my way." I respond a little disappointed "Oh, alright I'll catch you later then." Camille walks towards her car as we say our goodbyes, and I decide I want to go home as well. 

I get home and make myself something to snack on and lay down on my couch opening my phone to check if I have any messages. After scrolling for a while I decide to open Findr, not that I'm a fan of hookups, I just like the compliments I get. It's the usual in my Dms, a multitude of "Hey" from profiles with no pictures, although one catches my attention. <Hey, I saw you at the park earlier today, caught you staring.> Oh... It's that guy, I guess there is no harm in responding <Hello, I guess that would be me, yeah.> I giggle to myself a little realizing how ridiculous this is. As I get up from my couch, my phone vibrates <I think you're really cute, we should go out sometime, unless you just want to fuck.> This guy is very blunt, but I'll match his energy for now, <Sure, we can go out. Where and when?> He answers with no time to waste this time <Cafe en bleu, tomorrow 4 P.M. sound good?> I open the map app on my phone, and type in the name of the coffee shop, it's a few minutes away so I respond with <See you then.>

[PLEASE! Do not translate the writing at the beginning of the chapter, I would like for all of you to connect the dots in the process of reading, Thanks!]

[ HELLO READERS! This is my first time publishing a book, please leave feedback concerning the quality of my writing! I am always looking to improve!]