The Colors of Life (Sequel to The Color of My Skin)

Remorse. Pain. Guilt. Grief. All these adjectives describe how I'm feeling now. I sat on the rusty, cracked bench in the park. I needed to get away but my problems seemed to follow me everywhere I go. My salty tears dripped down my cheeks. My eyes were puffy red. But I didn't care about my appearance. I just wondered how my life turned drastically around. I couldn't decipher the feeling I had in me because it was too much. Too much to deal with. I've lost way too much and just when I thought my life was perfectly fine, the more it seemed to get fucked up. It was the middle of the night. The street was deserted as my silent sobbing echoed.

**

It was just a week ago. Jacob and I were happily married. It felt like a fairytale. I was as happy as a girl in love could ever be. Life was as perfect as it could be. But that day things took a turn for the worst. Jacob, the kids, and I were out grocery shopping as a normal family would do. We exited the store. The triplets walking in their pack, never leaving each other's side. Jacob Jr. was the oldest, followed by Mia and Aliyah. Each of them seven years old. We walked towards our car in the parking lot.

"Stay out of the streets guys!", I called to my kids as I saw them edge near the street.

"Ok.", they replied in unison.

I laughed at their similarities.

Jacob and I unloaded the bags of the groceries.

"Your so beautiful.", Jacob whispered.

"Baby you tell me that everyday.", I laughed.

"It's because it's true.", he reassured me.

I pecked him on his soft lips.

"Mia! Aliyah!", I heard Jacob Jr. call.

I whipped my head back to see what was going on. I gasped and before I could move my feet, it all happened. All in a second.

My mouth was agape and my feet were frozen to my spot. It was if life were going in slow motion as I called to my children. Reality hit me when Jacob ran.

I finally grabbed the courage to move my feet. They felt like led but before I knew it, I was running to the spot. The car drived in the distance not taking a second glance. I picked up the limp figure of Aliyah. Her body was coated in blood and her heart made a faint Bump-Bump sound. The SUV then rolled out of sight.

"No. No. NOOOOO!!", I screamed as reality struck me hard, full force this time.

The tears came suddenly as I cound't control the flow of it.

I looked over to Mia and Jacob Jr.

They were as badly beaten as Aliyah. Jacob Jr. suffered the most.

As I registered what happened, I realized Jacob Jr. put himself in front of the SUV to protect his sisters. I burst into tears once more at the thought.

While I was crying Jacob called the ambulance. I was frantic as I waited for the sounds of the sirens. It felt like forever.

Finally the blaring noise of the siren erupted my ears as my heart rate sped up.

I stared at the building complex in front of me wishing to avoid another breakdown.

A hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to see Jacob. He nodded his head to signal me. I nodded back as we walked into the ambulance together. When I saw my babies I broke down in tears once more. Jacob patted my back reassuringly but I knew he was only trying to be strong for me.

I could tell that he was breaking down inside.

When we arrived at the hospital my heart beated faster and faster.

I couldn't take sitting in the waiting room waiting for the results.

I was dying every second.

I was aching to know every minute.

The sun dropped below the sky indicating that nightfall had begun.

Finally for the hours and hours that we've been waiting, the doctor came out. He shook his head at us and that's when I broke down. I completely lost it. I felt as if I were going insane. I lost my three children all at one time.

"I'm a terrible mother.", I mumbled.

Jacob didn't even reassure me and tell me I wasn't because he too was crying. I didnt know what to think. There was no positive options in this situation. I lost my three children.....

**

After the flashback I broke down once more, my sobs echoeing throught the empty park.