what happened to the potatoissoco name?
made this cause i recently logged into my discord and i wanted to leave an explanation to those who still cared (from my discord)
as well, wanted to document what happened with the mandela catalogue 'stirred up' au and reversed au as well.
i will be recalling this all from memory, which has severely deterioated in late years, so don't expect this to be great!
origin of the potatoissoco name
so potatoissoco was originally related to a twitter account of the same name. on that account i frequented spaces that had roleplays related to fnaf and such. i was incredibly young at the time.
i used to go by 'michelle'. she/him.
eventually, i kind of had a mental breakdown. it might've been an episode, but i havent been diagnosed with any sort of disorder, so i can't be sure
this led me to abandon twitter almost as a whole. i was still online on an alternative account that is still up, potatoissoc0, as well as another one i've completely forgotten the username to. i've long since logged out of both, however, and many of the tweets posted there no longer hold up to my beliefs.
i do not want to interact with anyone of that time. that community was extremely toxic, even if the people closest to me were great people. it exposed me, who actively paraded as a minor, to sexual topics and uncensored pornography. i do not wish to return to there.
i left twitter very socially anxious. despite this, i was very active on wattpad.
what happened to this account
i dont really know why i stayed with potatoissoco. i probably wanted someone from twitter to care, to reach out eventually. nobody did, and that affected me.
anyways, i wrote fnaf stories and eventually moved to the mandela catalogue, where i met 'rui' or 'adam' or whatever the hell he goes by nowadays.
posted on my announcements on this account is a clear description of what happened between me and 'rui'.
"What happened is simple.
Adam was a kind-of egotistical person. I am not going to shed any kindness for him any longer. Anyone who experienced the popularity he gained would act the way he did. I do not blame him, he was having a hard time.
He made a Fandom page for his infamous S.U AU. I was the main contributor.
At the time, he was getting more into the Project Sekai fandom, and so he invited the friends he made on the Project Sekai Wiki page to work on his own AU page. They made a few posts, but they never really contributed. As the main contributor, I felt lost.
I worked on the wiki during the summer, late at night. It horribly messed up my sleep schedule, and I regret it dearly. I wrote everything, I edited everything, I uploaded everything, and yet I wasn't mentioned once. I was never spoken to. It drove me a little insane. I get dark at night. I get angry. I get stressed.
At night is when I feel my worst. And, feeling my worst, I made a post. A post I should've made a long time ago. I called out Adam for his lack of contribution. I told him to contribute more. He had just made the wiki and left.
He DMed the next day with a long paragraph I never read. We broke off our friendship and I left. He left. I never deleted my profile. He deleted both. I'm flattered he thinks of me this harshly.
I suppose he didn't like my post. It's completely understandable. Adam had a hard life, and I will not be sharing what he was having trouble with publicly. With the overwhelming pressure and the recent break-up (i think), I suppose he cracked. It was for the better for both of us, though.
I respect his choice. If I was still stuck like I was, I'm sure I would've killed myself by now.
What I said that night affected both of us. It's engraved in my mind, that morning, when I saw the notification, and it stops me from writing on Wattpad. I'm not going to make this post about me.
I don't remember clearly, and I don't have direct reference, but I hated him. I hated Adam, because I knew he was affecting my mental health greatly. The reason I still stayed with him was my love for him, his writing, and just how fun he was to talk to. I must've been vague, but I'm sure I got my point across.
Adam needed to grow up. He had to stop sexualizing his characters like a child, he had to stop not commiting to what he created like a child. He explicitly said he wanted to be treated as an adult, as a mature person, but his personality was making that very, very difficult. I wanted to call him out for that, and I suppose I am now.
Really, that's it. And that's what caused the 'big thing' with Adam, me, and the S.U AU. I made a great post calling Adam an asshole, Adam couldn't take the criticism, and then he deleted everything related to me or just blocked me everywhere. He even changed accounts on roblox for me. I'm, again, flattered. He did still follow me on tiktok, so I just made him unfollow and stopped using it because I don't want a virus on my phone. So, yeah. That's the whole story."
my words were harsh, because i still felt angry about the situation. either way, i do think this recollection is true to what happened. this incident is was caused me to abandon this wattpad account and with it the potatoissoco username.
i want to say i don't blame adam for what happened. i don't think he was the one in the wrong. i don't think it's right to say either of us were right or wrong. our relationship was toxic, and i felt unheard, but the way i tried to fix that was rash and unneeded, and i could've been better.
what happened happened. it was for the best. i didn't think so initially.
i went by cesar. he/they.
on november 18, 2022, i tried to kill myself.
what's left of me now
every so often, i think about what happened. i can't help it. but it's long in the past, and i've reconciled with what happened.
i do not want to interact with anyone in the past. i do not want to interact with anyone on the internet as a whole now. what happened left me with severe social anxiety when talking to anyone on the internet, that i still struggle with today. slowly but surely, i'm getting better. i'm recovering.
no longer do i want to die. no longer do i share any of the thoughts i felt in my vent book, or what i felt that simply was left unwritten.
no longer do i share much thought with my younger self. since leaving wattpad, my brain has seemed to be repressing whatever is related to what happened- and with it, any kind of existential dread or whatever with it.
but i'm not depressed. i'm fine.
i've abandoned potatoissoco. i continue to be online, although on a different name.
i will not be sharing that or what social medias i use for privacy's sake. i hope you understand.
today, i go by no name. he/any. he/him much preferred.
the reversed au has long been discontinued. i no longer have any interest in analog horror, especially not the mandela catalogue. neither do i write on ao3 like i previously announced. something else happened on ao3 of a much smaller scale that prompted me to stop.
again, please do not try to contact me. none of the socials connected to my carrd, linktree, pronounspage or anything still hold up. i've long since forgotten the passwords, anyways.
that's all, really. its not too bad.
take care of yourself.
