Lies - Criminal Minds || Spencer Reid Fanfiction

23. Blue

Blue. The colour of sadness. Sadness; the condition or quality of being sad. Sad; feeling or showing sorrow; unhappiness. Sadness, the one emotion people attach tears with, but the one emotion tears are not necessary to define. Sadness, the emotion that can paralyse a person and engulf them whole; steal their breath, their smile, their personality, their life and their being entirely without so much as one tear being shed.

Blue. The colour of her eyes. The lightness of them in the morning when she first awoke and that sleepy smile would make them that little shade lighter; the outer edges blue like the sky; slowly fading from the blue of the sky to the blue of the ocean to the blue of diamonds and finally, around her pupils, the kind of blue that only later I would attach to sadness; having experienced my own dose of the emotion in the absence of such wonderful eyes.

Blue. The colour of her eyes. The darkness of them in the evening when she yawned sleepily and gave me that patient smile from across the police station; insisting that she wasn't ready for sleep quite yet, that she was just as determined to put that son-of-a-bitch behind bars now than what she had been when her eyes were not the colour of sadness but the colour of diamonds.

Blue. That was the colour that reminded me of her. The colour that brought me back to the natural elegance and beauty of her entire being and entity. The colour that reminded me of everything that was important, really, of the one thing that was important. Love.

Blue. That was the colour of love. That was the colour that reminded me of how much I loved her. How much I will always love her.

Blue. That was the colour that made me realise that I will always be in love with you, Melanie Hotchner."

"I'm sorry," His voice said to me from the doorway and I looked up from the poem with tears running over my hand as it pressed against my mouth.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, I hate it when you cry." He said in a thick voice, slowly approaching me.

I shook my head and dropped my hand to hold the piece of paper with both.

"Spence..." I could barely speak; I was entirely lost for words.

"I am so sorry Melanie," He said in the thickest voice I'd ever heard him speak in.

He paused in front of me and waited until I slowly met his eyes; blinking mine free of my tears to find his own pearling his worried eyes.

"I should never have left things the way they were left, between us," He said slower than his usual quick speed and I opened my mouth to speak; but no words would come out again.

"I am madly in love with you, and I will do anything and everything in my power to be with you again." His voice broke nearing the end of his sentence and the tears slid from over his eyes; stealing every little bit of strength I had left in my weary body.

I lunged forward and threw my arms around him; breaking down into uncontrollable tears as I squeezed him so tight.

He brought his arms up to hold me to him and buried his face in my shoulder so desperately like he used to and I remembered all of the times he'd held me like this; as though everything depended on what was in our arms. Each other.

The Lover

We held each other for what felt like forever with her tears soaking my sweater and my own soaking her blouse.

But it didn't matter because for what felt like the first time in forever; we were not crying for heartache.

We were crying because we were finally realising how right we were together, and how relieved we were to have simultaneously reached this conclusion.