When logic fails ...

Suddenly, something was different

Shikamaru nodded silently. When the apartment door closed, only the soft hum of the refrigerator remained. He leaned back, phone in hand again, and looked at the chat history.
Her last message had been something trivial, about cold coffee and the tiring lecture she was about to attend. Yet it stirred that quiet, inevitable feeling in his stomach. Maybe Naruto was right, and he should just ask her. At least then he would finally have clarity.

He started typing a message to her, then suddenly stopped and deleted everything again. The same thing happened on his second attempt. Everything he wrote sounded wrong, not like what he truly wanted to say. Exhaling sharply and dissatisfied with himself, he put the phone back on the table.
First the important things, then the pleasure, he told himself and reached for his notes again. This degree was, after all, the reason he was here.

His eyes moved across the lines, but the material simply would not stick in his head. Instead, his thoughts kept forming words and half-finished sentences he could send to Temari. Eventually, he had to admit that studying like this made no sense.

He sighed, leaned forward, and picked up the phone again. This time his finger hovered over the screen instead of typing at random. The plan forming in his mind was simple and promising, yet it felt like taking a tactical risk. It was an all-or-nothing plan.

A look at the clock told him that Temari should be back from university soon. If he went out now, it might seem like they met by chance in front of the house, and then he could ask her. No message, no endless waiting for a reply. Just a conversation, and everything would be settled. From her reaction, he could still adjust his wording.

A quiet smile crossed his lips. Maybe this really was the smartest move he could make. Besides, a break would probably do him good.

The sun hung pleasantly low, warm on his face without blinding him. Shikamaru had sat down on an inconspicuous bench half in the shadow of a large tree. From here he had a good view of the path and the front door. His jacket hung loosely over the backrest, and his hands rested deep in his pockets. To anyone passing by he looked completely relaxed with his eyes closed, but in his mind his thoughts kept spinning endlessly.

He ran through possibilities as if he were sitting at a shogi board. Only this time it was not about pieces but about words. Words to a woman he did not want to scare away.
"Do you already have plans for tomorrow?" That sounded too direct.
"I heard tomorrow's party is supposed to be pretty good." Too indifferent.
"We could go together." No, that last part sounded too obvious.

He sighed quietly. The phrasing had to sound spontaneous but not too casual, otherwise she might not read anything into it at all. A balancing act that turned out to be more difficult than any of his tactical exercises, since there were simply too many unknown factors.

With his eyes closed, he let his head rest against the cool backrest and listened to the steady rustling of the leaves above him. He did not want to read too much into it, but something about her had thrown him off balance. Her calm manner, that unpredictable sparkle in her eyes when she grinned. She never said directly what she thought, and maybe that was exactly what fascinated him.

He opened his eyes a little when footsteps sounded on the gravel path. It was more of a reflex than intention, and then he saw her.
Temari.

She was walking down the path with one of her friends, who was telling her something excitedly that made Temari laugh. The sunlight brushed her hair, making it shine in a bright shade of gold, and for a moment everything about her seemed perfect.

Shikamaru watched her quietly from the bench. A faint smile appeared on his lips, barely noticeable, until suddenly a figure moved away from the entrance and walked toward her.
A man, slightly taller than himself, with dark hair and a relaxed posture. He said something that Shikamaru could not hear from this distance. Temari froze for a moment, her gaze fixed on the stranger, and in the next instant a surprised sound escaped her.

Her bag slipped from her shoulder and fell to the ground, and before he could even grasp what was happening, Temari had crossed the few meters between them and wrapped her arms tightly around him. What he saw was no brief greeting but an embrace full of warmth and familiarity.
The laughter that appeared on her lips afterward was carefree and bright, and it almost took his breath away. He had never seen her smile like that before. She seemed truly happy about this visitor.

Something in Shikamaru's chest tightened painfully at the sight. It was a quiet but intense ache that settled somewhere between his heart and his mind. He could not tear his gaze away, even though every rational part of him urged him to.

The stranger said something, and she laughed again and hit him lightly on the shoulder. In the motion he took her hand and bent down toward her. His face came so close to hers that Shikamaru's stomach tightened. Nothing about the scene between them looked hesitant. There was an ease between them that he could feel even from where he sat.

At some point he managed to lower his gaze to the gray pavement at his feet, as if he could find an answer there. His thoughts collided, disordered and without direction. Who was this man? Someone from university? A friend? Or maybe her boyfriend? Had it been obvious all along, and he had just seen signs where there were none?

The rational voice inside him tried to bring order into the situation. It told him that there had never been any clear conversation, that he had no claim to make. Everything between him and Temari had always been friendly. Yet that voice sounded strangely distant.

He leaned back, ran a hand through his hair, and took a deep breath. Everything he had prepared, every word, every thought, every imagined conversation, dissolved into nothing. He had not calculated for another man.

He looked over to her again. Temari was just saying goodbye to her friend, picking up her bag, and then linking her arm with the man's as she led him straight into the house.

Shikamaru sat motionless. He remained like that while the sun slowly disappeared behind the rooftops. He felt a stinging burn spread through his chest, breathing against it quietly and evenly until it finally became nothing more than a dull echo.