The Punch

He hit him and he fell down. Blood poured over his face, his breath became labored, and then he died.

That's basically what the scene comes down to, you know. I wanted to tell you this right off the bat, so that we're in agreement. Because normally I would be expected to go through setting up characters, providing descriptions of who they are and where they were at the time of the punch. But what I really want you to know is that he hit him and he fell down. Blood poured over his face, his breath became labored, and then he died.

The fact that Bob's lunch on that day consisted of milk and toast is only slightly relevant to the encounter. In fact, it's completely irrelevant, but this did turn out to be the last time Bob had milk and toast. And no, not because he died. The guy who died was Tucker, and, unfortunately, I know very little about Tucker.

Bob was the one who arranged the fight. They arrested him a day later. Bob protested, but they arrested him nonetheless. He spent the next two years in prison, and they don't serve milk and toast in prison. Still, in theory nothing would've prevented Bob from getting his milk and toast once he got out. In practice, however, on the day of his release he was hit by a bus. Sad story, but hey, don't feel bad, I just made it up.

Anyway, the guy who threw the punch was Drew. Drew was an interesting character. He was a lawyer but hardly anyone knew that because Drew was homeless. When your average Joe sees a homeless person, their first thought is not "Ah, this must be a lawyer!" Yes, this is incredibly unfair, but then again, the average Joe's name is probably not Joe either.

Drew would provide homeless folks with legal advice and even attempt to represent them when cops would arrive. He would then be asked to stand back every time, and he would, but continue providing his legal advice from the back row.

"Were you read your rights?" he would shout. "Tell 'em to read you your rights! What are his rights, officer? Tell him to read you your rights!"

His favorite line was, "Life is confusing, kid." And that did sound profound, only Drew tended to use it in hardly appropriate situations. In fact, that's what he told Tucker right before punching him.

But was there a reason for the punch?

Yes. Let's be honest here. There was a reason. It was not the best of reasons, not the most convincing of them but neither was it an obvious phony. You know, a bully might say, "You were breathing." And we shake our heads. Not that's not a valid reason, buddy. Well, Drew's reason wasn't that.

Thing is, Drew was upset. And the disappointment stemmed from Tucker's own actions. Specifically, Tucker put something in Drew's drink but revealed it only when Drew began to feel tingling in his arms and legs. I think he also mentioned something about blurred vision but I'm not sure.

And so the tables have turned. A moment ago you were probably at least a bit sympathetic to Tucker. After all, blood poured over his face, his breath became labored, and then he died. And now see what happened? Tucker turned out to be the bad guy.

But was he?

I mean, Tucker probably had his reasons too. And, honestly, he did.

First of all, his Aunt Jenna strongly disliked Drew. He was rude, he was inconsiderate and he was encroaching on her laundromat business. As is customary in cheap crime novels, the laundromat business was more than meets the eye. It was a highly illegal operation, although exactly what Aunt Jenna was peddling is difficult to discern. Some say she continues to peddle it to this day, some insist that the phrase is literal and the only thing she pedals is her bike, up and down the road.

The road in question was always the Buckingham Road. Naysayers claim it was the Bucket Road but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that no such street exists. And it was there that we get to the second reason Tucker disliked Drew, and that was his car. Drew's car was large and green, whereas Tucker preferred small red ones. In fact, Drew's large green car attempted to run over Tucker's small red one, and Tucker ended up in a hospital.