The Terminator line

Part 1

"Wu Suowei, have you ever loved me?"

Chi Cheng watched how Wu Suowei's jaw clenched, his fist tightened as if they would break. Eyes blank with the defiance that Cho Cheng remember seeing only in their initial days when Wu Suowei would deny him any kind of physical intimacy even though his body definitely craved for it. And then he heard it.

"No."

Just a cold, ruthless, sharp as knife "No."

Chi Cheng's lost his grip and half burnt cigarette fell of his hand.

'No?'

Then came spear of cruel words that pierced through Chi Cheng precisely intended to bleed his heart thorough.

"No. I've used you to get revenge on yueyue and you. Now I'm using your connection to make money. Once I reach yueyue's demand, I'll get back with her. I'm a straight man. How could I possibly spend my life with you?"

The words cut deep. Just as they were intended to. The words of a proud man who once cried for him saying, "You're mine."

The same proud man who willingly bent for him despite being perfectly straight.

The same man who almost risked his own life to save Chi Cheng's snakes.

But why? What did he do to deserve this level of cruelty from the person most beloved to his heart? Had he not shown his sincerity? Had he been blind all this time? Was it all really a lie? If so, then why is that the truth that should have been felt crystal clear now feels like a tick mystic of fog?

Yet words have their effect. No matter what words may be insignificant but the person is not. And Chi Cheng felt it to his bone today. If words could kill, Wu Suowei's words have massacred his every bit of confidence.

"Wu Suowei, you win. You make me wish I were dead."

Something sparked in Wu Suowei's eyes, "You wish you were dead?"

His voice broken yet cut through as he jabbed Chi Cheng's chest, "Have /you/ ever loved me? Ask your heart honestly, does the word even apply to me?"

/"Does the word even apply to me?"/

Now the fog in Chi Cheng's mind broke slowly shedding the light of clarity. All those times asking those silly questions, moments uncharacteristic silence, deliberate rebellion what Chi Cheng thought as playful ragebait was in reality being stripping someone else of their deepest insecurity. Yet Chi Cheng couldn't bring himself to forgive the done. Chi Cheng knew pretense. Chi knew sincerity. He knew exactly when the playful seduction became the doom of two hearts. But standing there right at that moment Chi Cheng felt, unlike him not only the person in front him never knew his heart, but he never knew his own heart either.

"Right. When did I ever love you? You flirted right in front of me, I didn't fight you. I would feel miserable for days when I scolded you. I'd rather throw you out than raise my voice at you. When did I ever love you, huh?"

All those memories came rushing down to Chi Cheng.

/"I'll learn boxing from Wang Zhen. Do you really not feel angry?"/

/"I think I'm becoming a chatterbox./

/"You are so tolerant of me, Chi Cheng."/

/"If I didn't like you, I'd throw you out of the house right now."/

So many little moments that Chi Cheng looked away as nothing were exactly what breaking his relationship brick by brick. And hurt people hurt people. So Chi Cheng words came just as sharp.

"You think I loved him and not you? You complain that I treat you too well as if it doesn't prove my feelings for you. Fine from today onwards I'll change. I'll be good to him. We won't see eachother again. Let's cut all the ties forever."

Chi Cheng saw the crack in Wu Suowei's perfectly masked expression. How his lips trembled, how his fists clenched, how eyes brimmed with concealed fear and burning tears. He waited. He waited for Wu Suowei to break. To break out of his cold facade and admit the truth. That he was wrong. That he loves Chi Cheng just as much Chi Cheng loves him. That the thought of being abandoned by Chi Cheng terrifies him just as much as it does to Chi Cheng.

Yet none of it came. Instead there was a new found determination in Wu Suowei's stance. He walked over to take his phone. Few seconds later Chi Cheng's own phone vibrated.

"This is the evidence I found for you. Seven years ago Wang Shuo and Guo Chengyu didn't do anything to betray you. Congratulations. Your emotional knot is untied. You can not freely get back together with Wang Shuo."

Chi Cheng laughed. He saw his own devastating reflection in Wu Suowei. How both of them were breaking yet neither of them would surrender. The space between them felt like a double edged dagger that pierced apart both of them where they were standing on eachother's opposite.

"I'm so happy. I don't know what to say. Wu Suowei, thank you. Thank you for being so good to me. Thank you for paving the way for us. Let's end things here."

Chi Cheng saw Wu Suowei breaking. The tears streaming down his face. But he himself was too broken to care. Clenching his fist he got out of there. But not before the muffled sob reached his ears,

"Whether I love you or not, don't you know it in your heart?"

For a second Chi Cheng's step faltered but then it resumed just as fine. His heart is in death grip. Chi Cheng knew that Wu Suowei loved him. What broke him was Wu Suowei never seem to know how much Chi Cheng cherished him.

I love Pain 🥲