Love is contradicting | One-shots

Not even in my dreams

I ran. Branches clawed at my skin as I forced my way through the unfamiliar forest, lungs burning so hard it felt as if they might collapse inside my chest. Every breath scraped through my throat raw and uneven, but stopping was not an option. Anything was better than facing the fate waiting behind me. All because of a simple 'no'. said to my husband
Was that all it took for a man to lose his humanity? To turn vicious the moment he was denied what he wanted?

I didn't even know where I was going. The forest felt foreign and suffocating beneath the darkness. My legs trembled from exhaustion, yet I kept running because I knew if I stopped, he would catch me.Not that I truly believed I could escape him.Then it happened.My foot tripped against a root hidden beneath the leaves, and suddenly the ground slammed into me. Pain exploded through my ankle as I twisted it, a sharp cry tearing from my throat. I tried to push myself back up, but agony shot through my heel the second I put pressure on it.
Panic swallowed me whole, why had I run into the forest? I had trapped myself. There was nowhere left to go. I lay there helpless, my mind already convincing me that this was the end as heavy footsteps approached from behind just to prove my point.

"See?" he said calmly, almost amused. "That's exactly what you were always meant to be. A dependent little piece of property who should've listened to me."
His shadow loomed over me as he stepped closer.
I forced myself to look at him despite the terror clawing through my chest. "Is that what women are to you?" I asked weakly. "Property?"
"Bingo." He smirked. "You catch on fast."
His laugh was low and mocking. "You can't even prove me wrong, can you?"
My gaze dropped to the ground. I knew if I spoke again, my voice would shake. I would only feed his ego further.
"You're horrible." I muttered instead.
"Am I?" His grin widened. "Let's see who ends up with the horrible ending."
Before I could react, he lunged forward. His weight crashed onto me, fingers wrapping around my throat with brutal force. Instantly, the air vanished from my lungs. I tried to resist desperately as panic erupted inside me, vision blurring around the edges of my eyes.
But it wasn't his hands that terrified me most. It was the knife in his spare hand.
"Leave me alone..." I choked out.
"You need to experience what your life is without-"
Then he stopped. For a split second, confusion flickered across his face.
He had been holding the knife the wrong way.
Without thinking, survival took over. I shoved upward with every ounce of strength left in my body, forcing the blade deeper into him. His eyes widened.
"You-" Blood spilled from his mouth, cutting him off as he choked on his own words. His grip around my throat loosened instantly.
"H-how...?" That was all he managed before his body collapsed heavily on top of me.
I shoved him off with trembling arms and sucked in a quivering breath, my throat screaming in pain from the pressure he had put on it.
"Maybe," I rasped while glaring down at him, "you shouldn't have pointed the knife the wrong way."
My voice trembled with fury. Yet somehow, he laughed. A weak, muffled laugh as he clutched the wound in his stomach.
"All this," he coughed, "because I wanted to have fun with you?"
Something inside me snapped.
"Fun?" I screamed. "You wanted to rape me for the nth time!"
My voice cracked violently as years of pain tore their way out of me all at once.
"All I ever wanted was someone to love me! I kept believing you'd change! I kept thinking the man I fell in love with would come back!"
The words dissolved into sobs, barely understandable through my shaking voice. But he still smirked, even now, even after everything. Was I a joke to him?
Years, years of rape, sexual assault, neglect, and bruises all across my body until they felt more permanent than my skin itself. Years of being dragged around like a dog on a leash.
Why? Why was I never seen as human?
I deserved better than this.

A laugh burst from my lips suddenly - sharp, broken, almost hysterical. I couldn't stop it. It echoed through the forest as tears streamed down my face. I stepped closer to him slowly. Then stomped hard onto the knife lodged in his stomach. His body jerked violently before going unconscious.
"Fun?" I whispered shakily. "You call this fun?"
My breathing became uneven again.
"Am I not human too?" I muttered. "Am I just some toy to you?"
I crouched down and pressed trembling fingers against his neck. No pulse. Finally.
Something dark and unrecognizable twisted inside me. I laughed again, louder this time. Then I grabbed the knife. And stabbed. Again, and again, and again, and again.
I didn't care where the blade landed anymore. His face, his chest, his shoulders, it didn't matter. Rage consumed me completely. I stabbed him until he no longer resembled a person at all. Until he became as ruined as he had left me every single time he grew bored.
Eventually, I staggered backward. The sight before me was horrifying, gruesome.
Yet my cracked voice whispered anyways.
"Beautiful... such a beautiful sight..."
My hand slowly lifted the bloodied knife toward my throat. A tear rolled down my cheek.
Then I slit it.

I jolted awake with a gasp.
My throat burned so badly I could barely swallow. Every breath scraped painfully against my vocal cords, dry and raw like sandpaper. For a moment, I couldn't understand where I was. Then reality settled over me like chains. I was at our bedroom. I looked down at myself. Naked. Bruises scattered across my skin like ugly fingerprints someone had forgotten to wipe away.
Beside me, my husband slept peacefully. As though nothing had happened. As though he hadn't destroyed me all over again.
My stomach twisted violently.
"Was it... all just a dream?" I thought numbly.
A broken sob escaped me before I could stop it.
"Why...?" I whispered, covering my mouth with trembling hands to hide the sound of my crying.
"Did I stay quiet again?"
My chest tightened painfully.
"Did he take advantage of me... again?"

For nearly an hour, I lay there silently crying beside the man who ruined me, forcing myself not to make too much noise.
Eventually, I dragged myself back beneath the covers. Back into the same bed that had become nothing more than a grave for my hope and my dignity.
This was where I always ended up. No matter how hard I tried to run. No matter how desperately I begged for help. It always ended the same way. More bruises, More pain, More fear, More pretending.
I remembered the last time I had tried to tell someone.
"Abuse? You should be grateful he even chose you in the first place"
The words still echoed inside my skull.
That night, I had returned home only to be welcomed by fists around my throat and blows that left my body black and blue for weeks. So who was I trying to fool?

Not even in my dreams was I allowed a happy ending.