hold me down

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"selfish, taking what i want and call it mine."

[tw: (short) nsfw]

1:28 AM

they fucked liked they talked; sharp, rough, and all at once, words hanging off their lips like their fingers hung onto each others skin.

they made noise like it was a competition. they moaned loud, they swore loud, they gasped loud.

they fucked for the whole word to see, blinds open, letting the waves of city lights dance over their bare skin.
(they were performers, after all.)

she focused on the pressure on her legs, the warmth on her stomach, the lips across from hers.

she tried not to look at his face.

he kissed along her jaw as if it was never enough, as if he desperately needed to taste every inch of her skin. she lay underneath, blue hair falling onto the sheets like a ghostly halo, crushing her fist into the bed.

he possessed this energy that was almost unholy; his eyes dilated, flesh warm, body trembling as they pushed each other to the edge. his eyes were manic, seeing the world through the drugs that infested his brain, his lips flushed red.

she was disgusted with herself; with the way she let him touch her, the way she touched him, the way heat coursed through her fiery veins just from a look from this man, who had pressed a knife to her throat. she hated the idea that she was giving herself up for his help.

but through the daze of her clouded mind:

she suddenly realizes that she doesn't really care that much.

the thought makes her smile giddily as she tangles her legs with his, sliding her hand down his back.

it feels so wrong, it's right. nobody cared what you did in this city- the world had already ended, they were stuck in a wasteland, counting the seconds until their deaths in this motel room.

so who cares if he was dangerous?

ashley bites down on zack's lower lip harder.

X

"my demons are begging me to open up my mouth."

4:36 AM

even in her dreams, she is still dead.

her face is deadly pale, devoid of the warm glow of life, golden brown eyes unseeing, faded pink hair plastered to her face.

she is covered in dried blood, disfiguring her face, still contorted to the horror she had before she took her last breath.

ashley misses the way her friend's face used to light up, full of vibrant energy, as if the world around her spun too slow. she misses the way she spoke with so much passion, eyes blazing as she they promised each other, "we will get out of here."

when everybody here was dead, she was still alive, hanging off of the side of the glowing overpass or the edge of a roof, screaming things with each other until their lungs burst without air, high off the nighttime.

she was gone now, another victim to the badlands, another corpse rotting on the streets. it had been 6 weeks since she was gone, but ashley still dreamt of her only friend.

she still choked over the last thing she had said to her. she drifts back to sleep,
breathing hard as she tried to fucking hold on to herself.

"wake up," she gasps out to herself.

everything hurts.

X

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