Diary Of A Depressed Maiden

Prologue

Hey guys. So I realized I haven't properly introduced myself. My name is praise but I go by lolu. I am in my final year in secondary school.
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So this novel is one of my favorites. I like the story line and I hope your guys like it too

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What does it feel like, being in the midst of people and still feel lonely? People say it's impossible for a person to be surrounded but feel alone. This is not the instance where you hear the last child complaining of too much chores. 
It's not the instance of the middle child. 
Even the first child can feel the pressure. 
Not just the pressure of being the best, head and role model to one's siblings. No, not just that— 
but the misplacement of affection and inequality. 
Yet, one's parent would say "that's life" or how am I supposed to answer that? Sometimes one would think one was adopted or better still found on the roadside. 
And in their so-called defense, they would say they are just training you to be a better person. How lol. 
Wishful! They don't know that the littlest of pains could be a mountain of problems tomorrow. For example, when your younger ones are asleep and you are to go to a program, one's parent would say "leave them, don’t you know waking them could cause headache?" 
But when it’s your turn, they’ll say "don’t you know we need to attend this program and you're there sleeping like a log of wood?!".
How then won’t one feel unloved, despised and unwanted. 
Take up a scenario where a parent praises the younger child more because he/she got higher grades in an examination or is of higher level, lifting the older one right in her presence. 
Going further to say that one has not yet found one's future goal or ambition. 
Why? Or of a time you try in cautionary way before your younger ones offense things repeatedly, then they try and abuse you in your parents' presence. 
You would agree with me that if it were to be them, that they would have died a long time ago or better still be in the psychiatric hospital. 
Then in a situation where you complain of pains and strange movements in your head and they say stop imagining things like it’s only you something happens to. 

I cry myself to sleep every single day. 
I have even gotten to the stage where their complaints have little or no effect on me. 
I now do things to my satisfaction. 

* * * * 

My name is *Jasmine Macron*, the first child out of four children. 
My parents are Mr. and Mrs. Macron. 
My siblings—well, I wouldn’t say their names. Just "it". 
My friends—well, I do have friends but they don't feel like what one read or hear about true friends.
People say when they leave home to school or other public places, they feel relieved. 
But it’s the opposite for me— 
I feel even worse outside and inside. 
Or it could be said to be a 50/50 case.

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