Ashton
"Y/N, where'd you put my shirt?!" Ashton called from down the hall. You sighed laying on the couch.
"Dresser!" You called back. You heard him banging around until he came into your room holding a plastic bag in his hands.
"What was this doing in your dresser?" Ashton asked quietly.
"It's just something I have around..." You said slowly, attempting to figure out just how he was going to react.
"I remember you told me you used to smoke weed, with your ex..." Ashton said still standing and staring fixedly at you.
"Yeah, I did." You say in the same slow voice.
"So, you also said you'd stopped smoking it when you left him, so why do you have this?" He said and you noticed his knuckles turning white.
"I just keep some around... you know, for like a rainy day..." You said trying to figure out a point to make.
"Do I have to actually outline this for you?" Ashton said his other hand balling into a fist.
"I can't understand what point you're implying so..." You trailed off.
"Are you hanging out with him again and smoking?" He asked dropping his voice.
"No!" You said loudly, defending yourself. "Ash, I would never see him again!" You continued feeling your insides beginning to tear at themselves. You didn't remember the real reason you'd kept it, in fact, until he found it, you didn't even remember you had it.
"Are you sure?" He said angrily.
"Yes! Of course! God, don't you remember what it was like when I dated him? He would hit me, grab me, make me do shit I didn't want to do!" You cried wrapping your arms around your knees holding onto yourself. "I don't want to go back to that..." You whispered. "Ashton, please, him, the drugs, the drinking, I don't want that again..." You said with hot tears suddenly falling from your cheeks.
"Alright baby... It's ok... It's ok... Nothing's gonna hurt you..." Ashton said rubbing your back.
"And you thought I would go back to him?" You whimpered looking into his eyes.
"I just thought, maybe you'd want the excitement again... I'm not really that exciting. We don't do the things you used to do with him. We go out, we have fun, but we're not wild or anything. We only get drunk." Ashton said softly.
"And I don't want to get high. I don't want to be waking up on dingy floors with bruises on my arms!" You said still crying.
"It's ok baby... Nothing's gonna happen to you..."
"I don't want to be scared... With him I was always scared, when I was sober enough to have sense."
"Are you scared then baby?"
"No, I trust you..." You blubbered. Ashton gingerly wiped your cheeks before kissing them.
"You know, I'm not mad that you had it... I'm just mad when I thought it meant he was back in your life."
"But he's not, the only guys in my life are you and the band."
"Hahaha, well... I'm also offended you didn't ask if I wanted to share it with you..." Ashton said wrapping his arms around you.
"Oh really? I thought you were the responsible one...?" You said feeling better.
"Not exactly the case behind closed doors, love." Ashton said with a suggestive smile.
"Oh?"
"I'm a bit curious about what sex is like when you're high..." He said trailing off.
"I can't remember it..."
"Then you better promise to remember it this time..."
"I remember every time with you..." You breathe as his lips gradually make their way to meet yours. In all the time you'd been with Ashton, you'd hadn't pictured getting high with him and having sex but you were not opposed to the idea either.
Calum - Somewhat Smutty
"You were naughty little lady." Cal said coming back from your room.
"I'm gonna need to know what I did. I do a lot of naughty things..." You laugh sitting up.
"Yeah, but I never knew you got high." He said opening his hands to reveal the plastic bag of weed.
"Oh... But what are you smiling about?" You ask.
"Because we are now both gonna get high and make out." He said beginning to roll it out grabbing a lighter. He smiled before lighting it and taking a puff before handing it to you. You take a puff, and you two pass it back and forth until you're both high. Everything just seems cooler and brighter and Calum seems...
Calum seems hotter. Too hot. Too sexy. And far too close for that to not be too much of a risk.
It's intoxicating to watch him stretching out on the couch, flex his muscles, his chest falling as he breathes out. His pouty, full, pink lips are drawing you in, as his slightly blurred eyes blink at you slowly.
"Damn... suddenly getting the munchies... To the kitchen!" He says heaving himself up and dragging you with him. "Make something..." He says since you cook better.
"Make what?"
"Something tasty!" He says pouting. "I want food!" You roll your eyes and go to make some nachos. Just as the food starts getting prepared, you feel his hot hands sliding around your body as he hugs you from behind.
"Cal?" You say trying to ignore how good it feels. His rough hands have glided their way under your shirt. Heat spreads through your body with his every touch. You picture just forgetting it and jumping into his arms crashing your lips together. It just feels so damn good, so much better...
"I've figured out what I want to eat..." Cal whispers in a husky voice above your ear.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yup..." He trails off. Suddenly, his lips have found the nape of your neck. He sucks and nips, pressing his teeth and lips into your skin while his hands continue to run over your body. His hands move over your stomach, along your sides, over the band of your pants, every part of your bare skin he can reach.
"What do you want then?" You say, your voice somewhat breathless.
"I want to have you to eat..." He says in the same voice as before making a shiver run down your spine, the intoxicating kind, as if you weren't intoxicated enough before everything else.
"Oh?" You say in a whisper with your eyes dropping closed.
"Come on baby..." He whispers bringing his lips to your ear. His hands tug at your bra, and your pants. "You look so damn good... Good enough to eat... Come on baby... just a taste..." He continues to whisper, nibbling your ear.
"Cal..." You sigh.
"It's easier to get you drunk off me like this..." He says.
"It's as if your love is my drug..." You breathe.
Michael
"Honey, I didn't know you did weed." Michael said coming in from the living room.
"It's not something I do all the time." You shrug.
"But still... You usually seem like such a good girl."
"How can you even get away with seeing me as a good girl anymore?" You ask.
"The act you put on with the rest of the world?"
"Uh huh..."
"I'm just a little surprised is all... You barely even drink anything when we go out." He shrugged spinning the bag in his fingers.
"That's cause when I drink, I become a slut, but when I get high, I get relaxed."
"So it takes the edge off for you?"
"Sure it does."
"But... Aren't you not supposed to feel stress with me?" He asks staring at it as if it could replay all the reasons you'd smoked it.
"That's an unreasonable expectation. I get stressed all the time. I was diagnosed with anxiety in third grade, remember?" You sigh curling your body around him.
"But you say you're getting better." Michael said again.
"Good days, bad days. When it was bad, the bad days way outnumbered the good. Now, the good days outnumber the bad days but that doesn't mean I don't have bad days." You sigh hugging his arm to your body.
"So does that mean you are getting better? I know you've struggled with it a lot..." He mumbles.
"Yeah... I used not have someone I could count on to be on my side, and not just on the side they thought was right for me. But now you're on my side, whatever side that is and I can't explain how much better that makes things for me."
"So, I help you feel better?" He asks wrapping an arm around you.
"Yeah..."
"Even when I'm gone?"
"If I'm being honest, when you're here there's a lot more good days and when you're gone, there's a few more bad days." You say quietly.
"And the weed helps?"
"In some ways... It helps me escape, but eventually what you're running from catches up, that's part of the reason I stopped. It didn't help me face anything, it helped me run from it."
"I'm proud of you baby." Michael says kissing your forehead.
"Yeah, doesn't mean it isn't fun."
"Oh I know it's fun."
"Do you now?" You ask playfully.
Luke
"Hey, where'd the remote go?" Luke asked getting up from his spot on the couch next to you. You sigh and watch him.
"Maybe your fat butt ate it." You quip helpfully. He sighs and digs around the couch. You glance over after a bit and see his face as white as a sheet.
"Y/N?" He asks slowly lifting up to meet your eyes.
"What? Find a condom or something?" You ask with a sigh. He shook his head.
"Were you lying to me?" He asks in a steady voice looking at you intently as he holds up what you recognize is a bag of weed. "Were you lying to me when you said you didn't do drugs? Were you lying all those times?" He repeats his hand becoming a fist and his gaze desperate.
"No, of course not. I don't smoke, I don't get high, I barely drink. Luke, I wasn't lying. That's probably my friend's, she likes to get high and party and we threw that party a while back..." You attempt to explain, not lying. You want Luke to understand, just understand. How could you have lived with yourself anyway? If you had lied to him.
"Don't lie to me now! Damn it!" He yells. You flinch. Yelling was familiar to you, and yelling didn't lead anywhere good.
"Luke! I am not lying! I'm clean! It's not mine!" You say reaching for his arm. He wrenches it away, out of your reach. His eyes are getting red.
"I said don't lie!" He screams throwing his hand against a pillow; if it was a fist, it would have been a punch.
"Luke, I'm not lying!" You repeat through tears.
"I wouldn't have cared! At all! But going behind my back, lying... If I knew I could have at least made sure you were safe... That you didn't overdose on something, that you didn't do something dangerous... Had you told me you did this stuff, I would have let you do it, but I would have protected you. I'm so fucking pissed that you lied, but I'm angry because something could've happened and I wouldn't have been able to do something!" He said falling heavily into a chair.
"Luke... I do not do drugs." You repeat, firmly. Yet at the yelling, and he was mad because he was worried.
"And you're not fucking with me?" He asks, looking at you through his hurt-filled eyes.
"Luke, I make a point not to lie to you, about anything." You say reaching out for his hands. He continues to stare at you steadily, sniffling.
"...So I just freaked out, over reacted..." He says after a long period of silence.
"Especially since it's not mine..." You say gently.
"No lying?"
"Cross my heart."
"No, don't cross your heart, I want that..." He says quietly.
"You want my heart? That sounds a bit creepy."
"Again, try to be romantic, come off as some Dracula thing."
"Hahaha, don't suck my blood, please!" You giggle.
"Forgive me for freaking out?" He asks moving to hold you.
"I forgive you." You say with a smile leaning in to kiss him.
