Hidden Patterns || KDH

Chapter 1: Hesitance

(Jinu's POV)

The silky rays of the moon slipped amongst the tree's leaves, enveloping the blue invitation card in my hand with flickers of silver. As I leaned against a tree, a cold breeze swept across me; it didn't help alleviate the nervousness I was feeling while holding the card and rereading its contents for the nth time.

"Calm down, it isn't really a date. You're just doing this to set up an ambush. The oceanarium's narrow pathways should be enough to give Rumi a hard time."

As I reassured myself, a set of yellow eyes peeked through the surrounding tall grass until, eventually, blue fur reflected the moon's light. Derpy—my pet who's either a cat masquerading as a tiger or the other way around—sat before me, looking at me with his typical thoughtless expression. I reached a hand out to pet him.

"I know what I must do, and I know why I should do it. But why am I hesitating? I've never had an issue with doing things for myself, even at the cost of others. But what is it about Rumi that makes me feel regretful even when I'm only still planning this?".

Derpy leaned toward my hand as I continued turning over and inspecting the invitation card.

"Yeah, I enjoyed pissing her off when we first met, but when she looked at me like a deer in the headlights while carrying that box of obviously fake tonic pouches, it took every bit of self-control I had not to react equally. What is it about her that makes me feel... longing?"

I felt Derpy move away from my hand and saw him tilt his head in curiosity.

"You haven't seen me be like this in a long time eh boy? Not since-"

A sudden ache pierced my heart, making me kneel in agony. Flashbacks of the past blazed against my consciousness. In the background, a dark and menacing voice laughed in mockery, Gwi-Ma. In lonely places where the Honmoon was weak, Gwi-ma had the power to slip through and influence us, even if it was minimal.

"What is this, Jinu? I taste something disgusting growing within you, is it... happiness? Or perhaps hope? Whatever it is, you seem to be forgetting your purpose, why you still and always will be my slave. Here, let me remind you." Gwi-Ma spoke through my head and continued his sadistic laugh as I was forced to relive the past, something that I have tried across many centuries to bury deep within me.

When it stopped, I slowly opened my eyes and found myself on the ground facing Derpy. He licked my face, calming me down as I reached a resolution within myself.

"Anything to forget about the past, even if it means hurting others... even if it means hurting her."

Despite the hesitation and hurt that I felt against my plan, I gave Derpy the letter and watched as he disappeared into the night.

At home, sleep ceaselessly evaded me. Thoughts about the past surged through my memory. However, alongside these thoughts was regret. Almost every part of me was telling me to revoke what I did, that I still had time.

"Why is this happening to me? I never second-guess myself. Is this some sort of ability that I'm not aware of? I knew the hunters weren't a pushover, but this? This is something powerful."

As if on cue, blurry strands of purple filled my vision. Once my eyes had a chance to adjust, I made out purple braided hair waving around. It was Rumi performing. Something about her demanded and stole your attention. The way she could gracefully sway but then jab and pop her body to beats that she never missed was something even I was envious of. And her voice, God her voice. Every time she sang, I found it suddenly hard to breathe, as if every ounce of my attention was so focused on her that my body would not give me space to even take a shallow breath.