So Little Time (Frerard) *New Version*

18: When All Is Gone The Only Loss Is To Not Have Loved At Every Cost

"Sugar..." Gerard whimpered, his feet carrying him to Frank side without any conscious thought, his hand grabbing Frank's wrist lightly in hope of finding a pulse, which was there, if faintly, but Frank's heart was still beating, and now it was up to Gerard to make sure it stayed that way. "Please wake up love...please," Gerard cried, shaking Frank softly before gathering him into his arms, doing his best to muffle the sobs that were gathering in his throat.

Gerard was so fucking scared right now, because Frank hadn't truly passed out in ages; he had fallen, and been in immense pain, but it hadn't been bad enough lately for him to lose conscious, and Gerard was well aware of the fact that there was a very definite chance that Frank might not ever wake up.

This seemed different than Frank's past episodes, and even though Gerard wasn't sure why he was so convinced of that, because this wasn't the first time Gerard had found Frank in this position, and in some ways, he hoped it wasn't the last, something just seemed off, and even though it was probably only the fact that Gerard had no idea exactly what had happened, he couldn't shake the worry that was threatening to overwhelm him.

And even more potent than the terror that was currently flooding Gerard's veins was the fury burning inside of him, the pointless anger at himself for leaving Frank alone, because even though his presence would have done nothing to prevent Frank's state, Gerard had still abandoned him, and now Frank was hurt, and possibly dying, and Gerard had no idea how long he had been lying on the floor, all because of his stupid shower.

And even though Gerard knew he was being completely irrational, he couldn't help but feel like this was his fault, even though it wasn't, but still, Frank had been in pain, Frank had been alone, and now something was very wrong with him, and Gerard hadn't been there for him, and there was nothing he could do to stop the sudden rush of guilt from overwhelming him.

But feeling sorry for himself wasn't going to help anything, not Gerard, and not Frank, and Gerard had to act fast, especially because he was clueless about how much time had passed since Frank had collapsed, and every second counted in the race for his life.

So Gerard quickly picked Frank up off the floor, lying him on the couch gently before bolting back upstairs to throw on some clothes, because no matter how dire the emergency, Gerard doubted the hospital would be willing to help him if he showed up in nothing but a towel, and in less than a minute, Gerard was fully dressed, and even if his shirt was on inside out, it didn't matter, because he needed to get Frank to a doctor now, and at least he had something covering him.

When Gerard returned back downstairs, Frank hadn't moved at all, and even though Gerard had been hoping that he would be doing better after a few minutes, if anything, Frank looked worse; his breath was rattling in his chest, and beads of sweat stood out on his pale forehead, an occasional soft shudder wracking his body every now and again.

Not wanting to waste another second, Gerard scooped Frank up into his arms, rushing out the front door and into the car without bothering to lock the house up behind him, trying to ignore how light Frank felt, not to mention the fact that there was something terribly wrong with him.

The route to the hospital was becoming entirely too familiar to Gerard, and he was almost certain that he could make the trip with his eyes closed, and even though Gerard hated it, he had come to accept that he was going to spend a large majority of his time there as long as Frank was a part of his life, and Gerard was more than willing to stay in that dreaded place forever as long as it meant Frank was still with him.

"I love you baby, you are so strong, just hang on for a little bit longer," Gerard mumbled softly, because even though Frank couldn't hear him, Gerard didn't seem to be able to stop talking to him, and even Gerard wasn't sure if it was in the hopes that Frank would somehow absorb his words in his unconscious state, or simply to make Gerard feel better, but whatever the case, Gerard couldn't shut up.