Not Quite Alright || Buddie

Making it Right

"Maybe I shouldn't go to class today," Eddie says, standing in the kitchen making breakfast before Shannon heads off to work. "I could stay with Chris and-"

"You can't keep skipping class to avoid him. You're already behind-"

"I'm not behind. I got caught up on my work already, and I'm not like... avoiding him anymore. I just don't want to make him uncomfortable, because I fucked up and I think he deserves some space..." He puts some eggs onto the plates.

"Eddie-"

"I can't... take back what I said. I can't just undo it."

"But you can go and you can talk to him. Go to class, talk to him, apologize, tell him the truth-"

"The truth? No. I- I can't do that."

"You can't keep skipping class either, and until you make up with him, I think you'll keep trying to 'give him space,' and I think it'll go too far. If you aren't behind now, you will be soon, and this is important to you, so don't let a mess up ruin it for you. Go, talk to him."

"I- I'll go. I don't know if I can talk to him. Shannon, I feel terrible, and this is a lot to process and... I thought I was thinking it out, I thought I was doing the right thing..." A sick feeling comes back to his stomach. It's only been a day, not even a full 24 hours. How is he supposed to face him? Even if he doesn't say a word, how is he supposed to sit in the same room as him?

He wants to fix it, of course he does. He wants to have the right words to make it all better, make Buck feel better, properly make it up to him, but he doesn't know if he can do that right now, and if he can't do it perfectly...

Well the perfect apology is the only sort of apology Buck deserves, and if he can't give him that, he doesn't want to half-ass it. He doesn't want to lie. He wants to do it right, but all that... while he's still trying to process it all, process the night before when he sobbed to his poor wife. Who is still being great, being a hell of a lot better than he deserves.

He just doesn't know how to fix it all, but he's also not sure that if he spends the time to sit and think about it that he'll come up with the right thing to do. "Shannon, I feel terrible." He plates the rest of the food as it finishes, handing it to Shannon as she sits at the table. He does the same.

"I know..." She says it quietly, not looking at him. "I know." There is another pause as if even she doesn't know what to say, doesn't know the solution, doesn't even have any suggestions. "But you'll never feel any better unless you start trying."

Eddie doesn't say anything for a moment, he just stares at his food, playing with his eggs with his fork. "Don't see the point in eating breakfast if it's going to come back up later... I promise you I'm not going into that room without walking out feeling sicker than I already do. I'm sure I couldn't even get out a word to speak to him without throwing up anyway."

"Eddie..." She sighs, not frustrated, but that same sad sound she had the night before.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't be making this your problem. You're already dealing with enough. I'll go to class, you don't have to worry about that."

"I- I don't mind dealing with it. I love you, and I care about you, and your happiness and comfort affects us and our family, so I care, I do. I just... I married a man who is sometimes a little over dramatic." She lets out a soft laugh, immediately lifting weight out of the air between them.

"I'm being serious," he almost whines. He hears the tone in his voice, but he can't do anything but continue. "I feel sick about it, really. I..." He sighs, thinking about everything he had actually done.