Until the Stars Align

Simula

Simula

Most songs in the world, it seems, are about love. I once read that the oldest known love song dates all the way back to 2000 BCE in ancient Mesopotamia. Since then, it's estimated that over a hundred million love songs have been written and recorded. It honestly feels like romance takes up way more space in music than anything else. Like, isn't it a little much sometimes?

Why do people like love songs? I think that they are cliché. Overdone.

I heard repeated knocks on the other side of the door of this bathroom cubicle. Umirap ako at inilipat ang pahina ng binabasang libro. I was never interested in love stories. Ngunit dahil alam kong nakakakuha ng inspirasyon sa mga libro ang mga songwriters, wala akong ibang pagpipilian. Patti Smith and Billy Joel, for example. Halos lahat ng sumisikat na mga kanta ngayon ay tungkol sa pag-ibig. People love them. The problem is I don't know how to write love songs. 

I crossed my legs and flushed the toilet even without using it. Is there even a songwriter who doesn't know how to write love songs? Even heavy metal bands write about love. 

"May tao ba r'yan?! Ang haba na ng pila rito!" sigaw ng babae mula sa labas.

Isinara ko ang libro ko at bumuntong-hininga. I picked up my bag on the floor and opened the door of the cubicle. Apat na babae ang bumungad sa akin at lahat sila ay suot ang uniporme na gaya ng sa akin. They were all glaring at me. I shrugged, tapped my stomach with the book, and gave them the classic bad tummy excuse.

"Bakit ba kasi dito ka nagbabasa?! Ang dami-daming lugar, dito pa talaga sa banyo!" she said, not buying my lie.

"Ewan ko ba d'yan. Weirdo!"

I just rolled my eyes and walked past them. Isinabit ko sa balikat ko ang bag ko habang ang libro ay na sa kamay ko pa rin. I spent my thirty-minute afternoon break at that bathroom cubicle. Bukod sa tahimik, wala ring manggugulo. I am spared from interactions with people I don't like. 

I checked my watch and saw that I am already ten minutes late to my last class. Kahit ganoon ay hindi ako nagmadali. Our last class is with our adviser so it is fine. Malamang ay hindi niya gagamitin ang oras niya para sa subject at ang pag-uusapan lamang namin ay ang mga gagawin para sa paparating na event ng school. 

I opened the book again and continued reading while walking slowly. Sarado na ang school grounds para sa event next week. Some students were dismissed already. Ang iba ay nag merienda muna sa damuhan kasama ang mga kaibigan bago umuwi. It's cool to have friends. Not that I know what it feels like. 

Nang makarating sa classroom ay tahimik kong tinungo ang upuan ko. Inilagay ko ang bag sa lamesa ko upang maharangan ang librong binabasa ko. I was right about the discussion. Tungkol lamang sa event.

"As you all know, malapit na ang foundation day. Marami na namang competitions dito sa school. As a section, we need to decide kung alin doon ang mga sasalihan natin."

"Ma'am, sali tayo sa food festival!"

Pumangalumbaba ako at pasimple lamang na nagbasa. Maybe someday, I'll actually like love stories. Maybe I'll even feel inspired enough to write a love song or two. I mean, I can write, technically, but nothing ever feels right. Nothing sticks. So maybe that means I can't. Or maybe I just don't know how yet.

"Wedding booth, Ma'am! Laging marami kita roon, eh." ani Vivianne.

"Mas marami yata kapag jail booth?"

"Taon-taon namang may ganoon, eh. Dapat may bago tayong maisip."

Ngumuso ako at tumango bilang pagsang-ayon sa binabasa ko. Nakaramdam ako ng kalabit mula sa katabi ko ngunit hindi ko iyon pinansin. I just pulled away my arm from him. It was late when I realized Ma'am Jazz was already in front of me.