初恋(ᵂʰᵉⁿ ᴵ ᶠˡʸ ᵗᵒʷᵃʳᵈˢ ʸᵒᵘ)

≽^- ˕ -^≼ Clingy Kitty ≽^- ˕ -^≼

"Shut up , you idiot. What chemistry? Besides if you paid much attention to the actual subject than you do about the two of us , then maybe you'd get decent , passing marks and there's no chemistry between me and RangRang"

Ling Cheng barked back a bit , shutting down the speculations as he shakes his head making Zhang Lurang watch the scene with a small frown. Zhang Lurang 's brows furrowed as he sat there , contemplating something , eyes deep in thought as he frowned .

What was this feeling? He felt suffocated , as if someone was squeezing on his heart too tightly , breathe quickening a bit as he tried to release a shaky exhale . Why didn't Ling Cheng like the speculations about them? Usually he paid no mind to them but did he have to shut them down so harshly this time? Was he beginning to favor the girl from the snack shop over him? 

No .

It can't be . It shouldn't be . Ling Cheng was his first.

Zhang Lurang sat there with a heavy heart and an even heavier mind , almost spacing out in class which was unusual for the model student to do . Ling Cheng nudges him softly with his elbow , trying to see what was wrong but all he got in return was a soft but shaky glare from the other. 

Zhang Lurang's heart pounded against his ribs like a trapped bird, wild and desperate. He forced his eyes back to the blackboard, but the letters and formulas blurred into a jumble of meaningless shapes. His mind wasn't on the lesson anymore , it was tangled in the knot of emotions tightening around Ling Cheng's words.

"There's no chemistry between me and RangRang."

But why did it feel like the exact opposite? Like every time Ling Cheng said something so blunt, it only made Lurang's chest ache harder?

He hated that she existed ; this Su Zaizai ,the girl who wasn't even in their class but somehow managed to wedge herself into Ling Cheng's world, drawing his attention like a magnet pulling iron with a few simple interactions.

Does he laugh like that with me?

Does she get the little teasing smile reserved just for me?

Jealousy crept in quietly at first, a small shadow that grew bigger with each passing second, threatening to swallow him whole. He hated how much he hated it.

Zhang Lurang clenched his fists under the desk, nails digging into his palms without him even realizing it.

Why can't I say it out loud?

Why can't I just tell Ling Cheng how much it hurts?

Because he was scared.

Scared that admitting how much he cared  , how much he needed Ling Cheng  would shatter the fragile balance they had.

Scared that his confession would change everything, or worse, push Ling Cheng away.

He swallowed hard, forcing himself to stay still as Ling Cheng's gentle nudge brought him back to reality. The warmth of that small touch was like a lifeline, but it also made the ache in his chest deepen.

Ling Cheng's eyes searched his, soft and concerned.

"Rangrang, what's wrong?"

Zhang Lurang's throat tightened. Words tangled in his tongue, trapped behind a wall built from fear and pride.

It's nothing.

I'm fine.

Instead, he offered a small, shaky smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Nothing."

But inside, the storm raged on.

He wanted to be enough for Ling Cheng. More than a friend. More than a shadow behind the golden retriever's sunshine.

He wanted Ling Cheng to see him ,really see him,  not just as Rangrang the obedient student, or the childhood friend, but as someone who could be so much more.

Yet every time Ling Cheng called him "Rangrang" with that soft, teasing lilt, Lurang's heart fluttered and broke all at once. Because that name held something unspoken.Something only he could understand. And maybe, just maybe, Ling Cheng felt it too.

Ling Cheng's hand lingered on Zhang Lurang's forehead, warm and steady, brushing away the stray lock of hair as if trying to erase the worries etched across Lurang's face. His eyes searched Lurang's, soft and patient, like a gentle harbor in a storm.

"Rangrang," he whispered, voice low and steady, "don't drown yourself in thoughts you can't solve. You don't have to carry it all alone."

Zhang Lurang's chest tightened, a fragile breath escaping him. He wanted to say everything , how the jealousy gnawed at him, how every moment Ling Cheng's attention drifted felt like a silent ache inside. But words tangled and caught in his throat, refusing to come out.

Instead, he let himself be vulnerable in the only way he knew: by leaning a little closer, pressing his shoulder against Ling Cheng's. The warmth that radiated between them was a fragile thread, pulling him back from the edge of his spiraling thoughts.

Ling Cheng's fingers wrapped gently around Zhang  Lurang's hand, squeezing it like a promise. 

"You're not invisible to me. Never have been. You're my best friend... my Rangrang. And that means something, everything, to me."

The words broke through the walls Lurang had built, softening the knot in his chest. His eyes shimmered with unshed emotion, and for a moment, he felt seen, truly seen.

The school bell's sharp clang startled them, scattering students like flurries of leaves. Ling Cheng didn't hesitate; he intertwined their fingers, anchoring Zhang Lurang to the present.

"Let's walk home," Ling Cheng said, voice gentle but firm.

Outside, the afternoon sun cast long, honeyed shadows on the pavement. Lurang's grip tightened, his steps faltering as the storm of uncertainty still churned inside him.

Ling Cheng glanced at him, brows furrowed with concern. 

"You're holding on tighter than usual."

Zhang Lurang's cheeks flushed, vulnerability spilling over. "I'm scared," he admitted, voice raw and barely audible. "Scared you'll drift away... that you'll forget me."

Ling Cheng stopped walking, turning to face him fully. The quiet earnestness in his eyes was a balm. "Forget you?" he breathed, voice thick with something unspoken. "You're the only one I want to remember. The only one I need."

Zhang Lurang's breath hitched, the weight of those words settling deep in his chest. Ling Cheng stepped closer, folding him into a careful, trembling hug ,not grand or showy, but fiercely protective , just Ling Cheng like.

"Promise me," Ling Cheng whispered against his hair, "promise you won't shut me out when you feel small."

Zhang Lurang clung tighter, voice breaking. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

"You won't be," Ling Cheng assured, heart aching at the fragility before him. "Not while I'm here."

And in that golden hour, wrapped in each other's quiet strength, all the doubts and fears seemed to soften, replaced by a fragile hope that maybe ,just maybe , they could face whatever came next, together.

A/N: AND THAT'S A WRAP , MY PPL . HIII YAAA IM BACCCKK TT IM SORRRYYYY FOR NOT UPDATING IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW MY COUNTRY WAS HIT WITH A 7.7 MAGNITUDE EARTHQUAKE AND I WASN'T ABLE TO BE HOME AND CONTINUE THIS SMALL SNIPPET I HAD AND TURN IT INTO THIS . BUT I'M FINALLY BACK HOME AFTER IT WAS BEING FIXED FOR 2 MONTHSSSS , YIPPEEE . ENJOY THIS HEHE AND MY IGCSES WAS SWITCHED TO O/N WHICH IS A BUMMER BC I STUDIED SO HARD FOR MAY JUNE BUT HEY ITS FINE MORE TIME TO PREPARE.

I LOVE YALL SO MUCH , TAKE CARE . STAY HYDRATED AND EAT WELL <333