The past year without Metias has been hell. I miss him every fucking night. I don't know how i could have killed him and all i wish is to do it over again. we could have ran away. we both knew how to hide and fight. why didn't I stick up for him. I loved him. i killed him. why should i get to live when he had so much more, he was so much more. June. and that dumb dog he loved so much. I took a knife i stabbed him. i did that. the person he trusted the person he loved. the night we shared was perfect. i want that again. This world needed metias, it doesn't need me.
I killed him... I would think of this every night as I slit my wrist.
of course when i was in jail... it was a bit different. June has been crazy and is now in trouble. i had to help her. In jail i would here the news about the outside. in that hell hole i would constantly think of Metias and i's last moments. i promised to keep her safe. i need to at least give him that.
so i broke out. it was easy when the guards only know you as a stick for the rules. it took all of a day to track her down. Metias always knew where she would be. growing up with him i guess i at least knew her a little well. she is crazy. i traveled and stayed close by her to make sure she was safe.
i wore a hoodie and some clothes to help me blend in so she wouldn't notice me in plain sight. her and day were cute together. staying by her was so hard because she reminded me of him so much. when ever i think of him i start to get sad again. this wouldn't have happened if i had just not been with him, if i ordered him to stop instead of sleeping with him. but once i think about it if i had the chance to do it again i would be doing the opposite of being professional. i went to sleep when june did and the next day did the normal routine. i stayed hidden until action arose. june and day were fighting. it was out of no where like an ambush. they fought and fought until it was finally time for me to do what i always promised.
when June needed the most help i jumped out. I made sure I was seen and noticed then ran. only one thing was on my mind. "For Metias"
by 2 steps a bullet went into my arm. "For Metias" i ran faster taking a few shots from what felt like the bean bag shots. "For Metias"i say outloud after 5 more leaps i slow, the only thing keeping me going is the thought of the promise i once gave the man i love. I run then I'm throw forward as a bullet hits me in the back, driving me to my knees.
"For Metias" i nearly scream
barley begining to crawl like a wounded puppy a shot hits the back of my neck. i look forward trying to steer my legs and almost think i see him. this could be the bullets in me but I've seen him ever since i died. i would see him in glass panes, i would feel him when i slit my wrist. the shot silences me but not my thoughts "For Metias, For Metias, For Metias"
i lay on the warm concert and stare in the distance of the buildings. my eye sight is blurring from the blood, trying to keep my eyes open. i watch ahead as 2 feet walks towards me calmly. he was in a uniform, he must be like i use to. i look up to try and see the face.
boom
double kill. shot in the head and put out of my misery.
except I'm still standing the middle of the shoot out except my ears felt no pain from the noise. i look at my arms and they are clear. no scratch or scar. i look ahead paniced and nervous except i see a clean shaven, fully uniformed.
"Thomas"
my breathe goes heavy and i smile and run to him.
"I'm so sorry"
"thomas you made an oath i understand" still holding me tight in his arms.
i am in tears simply crying on his shoulder so happy. i had him again
"i love you. do you hear me Metias i never got to say it in real life but god dammit i love you"
we stood there for a moment but Metias said nothing. i start to pull back and feel a coldness come of him. i look down a see blood all of me dripping down. it was coming from his chest. i jump back scared then grab him as his eyes roll back and he drops to the floor. i hold him in my lap as he slowly dies in my arms. the golden air that had been around us before are now turning dark and black.
i slid from under him and stand to see where i was but i hit my head on a globe that had been placed around the both of us. i turn and bang on the glass as it grows darker and darker. i turn around the check on Metias but now he is standing. his shirt was now off. the gashes i had seen before reappear like a knife was on his chest. wait a second. that was where i stabbed him. i look in awe as Metias looking up at me from staring at his chest. he is crying. I'm so shocked i don't even move.
Metias speaks in his normal voice but raspy like he has been crying
"Thomas i loved you"
i tilt my head as tears start to literally poor out my eyes "I'm so sorry, please i love you"
he starts to look up and scream. and not even the scream you make when hurt, it was the scream you make when every limb in your body breaks.
i close my eyes, plug my ear,curl into a ball, and cry.
as Metias screams.
welcome to hell.
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not really sober right now so i don't think i will remember this
sorry if it suck
wanted to finish
peace
