Almost Wasn't Enough

Micah's | intro

Micah

I tell the world Shayla's my girl.
And she is.
She's the kind you take home, the kind you post, the kind that fits into the life the league says I'm supposed to have. She smiles sweet, don't press too hard, knows how to play her part.
I love her for that.

But Ivy?
Ivy got a hold on me that don't make sense. Never has.

She been my best friend since freshman year at PV. First time I saw her, I knew I wanted her apart of my life.
Attitude for days, heart soft like cotton underneath.

We were supposed to just be friends.
But how you stay friends with somebody who know you better than you know yourself?
Who sees through the performance and the press, the cleats and the contracts, and still calls you Kai, like you ain't changed?

College got messy. We crossed the line.
But let's be real... once was enough to ruin me.

I ain't forgot the way she felt, how she whispered my name like it was gospel, how her body moved like she craved every inch of mine.

It wasn't just sex.

And I should've stayed away after that. I tried.

But Ivy's like gravity—quiet but constant. She pulls without even trying.
So, I call her. Text her. Tell her she's my best friend. Tell her I love her. Tell her I can't live without her. She can't live without me.
But that ain't the truth. Not all of it.

I love Ivy in a way that scares the hell outta me.
She challenges me, sees through me, holds me to a standard I'm not always ready to live up to.

Shayla? She don't do that.
She lets me lead. Lets me breathe easy.
And yeah, maybe I chose her 'cause I can shape that love into something neat, something manageable. I can build with her, I already have.

Ivy's love? That shit's a wildfire. Beautiful, but it'll burn everything if you let it.

I tell myself I'm doing right by Shayla.
But then Ivy hits me with a late-night "you up?"
And my chest gets tight.

My throat dries out. I stare at her name on the screen like it's a sin.
But I answer. Always.
Because no matter how far apart we are, no matter who's in my bed...

My heart still beats her name.