Mr. Suicidal X Mrs. Innocent.

Chapter 1: The Breath (Only Nikolov's Intro)

Started* 15 May 2025

I woke up, streaming tears ran down my cheeks and the only word came to my mind was 'suicide' but not a normal suicide.... a 'perfect suicide'. I wanted my suicide to be perfect and I was wondering how it could be perfect.
While thinking, I got up on a chair and hung myself. A nameless, relationless, nonexistent, worthless soul hanging to the ceiling. Will anybody notice? Did I even care if anybody noticed? In the end, I was nothing.
Ofcourse I would not actually kill myself just like that. These were just words spoken by my heart. I was serious when I questioned myself 'Did I even care?'

I woke up in the suffocating space of my spacious 'home'. The first thing I always reminded myself in the morning was:

'One human, one liar'

I had always kept this the main truth of the people surrounding me including my own self. There is only one human and the other is a liar. I never considered a liar, a human. A liar is not a human for me. He is.... Just a liar, you can use words like 'monster', 'demon', or 'ghoul' in the category of naming their existence.
I myself am one of them.

What was that these humans were soo proud of and at the exact same time detested? The unanswered questions lingered in my head like an annoying kid who wanted attention on a funeral.

I finally did the courage of getting out of my bed and crawled to the bathroom. I avoided looking myself in the mirror knowing well the fact that I am still a picture of utter horror whether my physical appearance was one of an handsome, breath-taking angel. Dark black eyes, captivating the innocent souls and black hairs that curled around my head like a cat in a lap, Pale cold skin, blood red lips almost as if I was born dead. Despite my unique appearance, the people around me did not care, they did not lessen the torment they were throwing at me.

Groped at the age of 4, nearly dead, first time thinking of killing myself was at the age of 5 and I had always kept myself to the minimum.

'My Life Was Just a Lie'

I finally did the horrifying act of looking myself in the mirror and all I saw was a dead soul looking back at me.

'What was I? Bones? Flesh? Name? Appearance? Human? Demon? Dead? Alive?'

I vomited the first thing after looking at myself. I did not louth myself, instead I always thanked god for creating me this beautiful creature.

I cough after finishing my vomiting session. I was on my knees on the floor of the bathroom in a mess of my own vomit. I started laughing at myself as tears kept streaming down my eyes like rain pouring on a sunny day. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand but more tears slipped down my eyes. The futility of my actions was clear. I finally stopped wiping my tears and stood up. I walked towards a nearby drawer and took out a knife.

_____________________

It was may 6th 2017, I went through my every morning actions as if a machine coded to do these things over and over again in the mornings.

I walked downstairs and towards the kitchen. My steps were heavy and light at the same time. My face was downcast as usual. I heard a familiar voice call out to me. 'Hay nikolov, wait!'. The voice had called 'nikolov', that's right, that was my name, I forgot it. I turned my head to the voice and I saw my mother standing there with a glare on her face.
She was the only human keeping me intact.