Wish you Back | Han jisung

Wish you Back

The wind blew in a soft speed, meeting with the soft skin of jisung's cheeks, the cold air sending shivers down his body.

He exhaled, the hot breath visible in cold atmosphere, he hid his cold palms in his pockets and started walking.

The lake water hadn't changed one bit, so hadn't his memory.

He smiled softly staring at the empty rock resting near the side of lake, a rock on which once his love had sat, laughing at him as he drowned in the water.

The memory crept in, uninvited but familiar......

The water splattered everywhere as jisung struggled getting out of the water.

"Yah Byun Iseul! Help me, what are you laughing at!" he said in offence, his white shirt completely drenched while his wife laughed whit her whole body sitting at the rock "Oh yeah? Or what? I thought you weren't afraid of the water" her laughter echoed in his ears.

Just then a hand reached to him, pulling him out of water.

"You little-" he coughed.

"Alright alright ill stop laughing" she snickered.

Her colorful dress flaring at the gush of wind, her hair flowing with the wind, her honey skin glowing in the sun.

Oh, how gorgeous she was.

Jisung laughed "Oh just you wait-"

The past faded, but her laughter still echoed in his chest.....

Jisung chuckled at the memory, her laugh still fresh in his ear, even when his eyes burned. He shook off the shrill which ran through his nerves and continued walking.

His eyes drifted over the beautiful flowers just when he saw a florist.

He walked up to the man "A bouquet of lavender please" he smiled, the man smiled and nodded "Here sir" he handed him the purple flowers. "This time also for your wife?" he asked "I haven't seen you in a while" he continued.

Jisung smiled more widely his eyes fixated on the flowers "Yes, for her only" he inhaled "Yeah I was a bit busy" he looked at him, handing over the money "Oh well....have a good day" the man bowed.

Jisung nodded in response and started walking again when his mind drifted again, carried gently by the weight of remembrance..........

"Ahh!!" Iseul squealed "For me?!" she asked excitedly, jisung nodded

"Only for my beautiful and kind wife" he lifted her by her waist and started spinning in circles, making both of them laugh loudly

"But how did you know lavender were my favorite?" she asked

"You mumbled it in your sleep" jisung replied with a peck on her head making blood rush to her face.

Reality returned, but the ache lingered like an aftertaste.

He stopped in front of the grave, covered in flower petal of the fallen flowers, making the grave seem fresh.

He squatted down near the ground, carefully placing the flowers on the grave. A heavy sigh left his lips "Happy anniversary my love, it would be our 6th year together if you weren't with the stars" he chuckled even though it had no humor "Don't worry about me, I've been well, how have you been? Is it nice up there? Are you taking care of yourself?" he completely sat down, his ringed hand caressing over the flower petals spread over the beautiful stone.

He stared at the name engraved on the tombstone "Byun Iseul- The beloved wife of Han jisung"

He still remembers that day, the day that took away his lifeline, he knew it was close but he still quietly prayed every time for a miracle to occur so that maybe-

Just maybe-

He could cherish her more.

He closed his eyes, and time unraveled.....

The machines were everywhere in the room- yet nothing mattered more for him than his hand entangled with his lover's.

"The sky is really pretty today" she smiled

Even now she was the most beautiful woman in the world, her brown hair falling over her shoulders, her always colorful clothes replaced with blue and white hospital gown, her favorite pink blanket covering her legs.

"It is" he nodded with a smile.

The time was so slow with her yet so fast like he couldn't grasp it.

A chuckle left her mouth, as she stretched her legs. The sound was music- a melody that he could listen to forever- her laugh, his favorite music track.

"Im so tired" she looked at him, their eyes speaking beyond time, then like a mammoth the words rolled off her tongue "I wanna sleep" she smiled....

Sadly.

Jisung wanted to protest, make her stay a bit more but instead he nodded with a smile, standing up to tuck her in.

"Sleep well my princess, ill see you tomorrow" he sat back down, their hands still holding each other's.

"I love you jisung" she said in a soft exhale

"Me too" he kissed the hand intertwined with his

And like that she smiled, her eyes closing.

Jisung started at her, he could see the tear that slipped down her cheek, the sound of the constant beep trailing off in the background as his vision blurred with unshed tears, falling down like they waited for this moment.

"Make the sky more pretty" he choked out, kissing her cold hand, limp in his.

Tears that were unstoppable all for the one person he would give up anything for.

The moment dissolved, leaving silence louder than any goodbye.

Jisung tried blinking away the sting in his eyes.

His heartbeat thudded in his ears-loud, relentless. All he wanted was to see her again, to love her again, to hold her like she was still his. She was his person. The one his soul still longed for. Her soft features, etched into his memory, still danced across the cone cells of his eyes like sunlight.

He didn't know if he would ever move on.

He didn't care.

A loud sigh escaped him as he pouted, lips trembling in a desperate effort not to cry.

"Wait for me, okay? I don't know when," he whispered, voice cracking through the wind, "but one day I'll be by your side. And that day, I'll bring you all the chicken you wanted."

He laughed, the sound fragile and hollow. His body shook, laughter turning into tremors as his head rested against the cold stone of her grave.

Tears slipped down, one by one, tracing the cracks of the tomb like they belonged there. His laughter shattered into sobs, sharp and silent, the kind that ripped from the soul instead of the throat.

And in the language only grief understands, he whispered into the earth, defeated:

No matter how much I know it's useless,
I still wish you back...